It was some conversation we had, you and I, an interlude of words exchanged between glances that evaporated as incorrect punctuation deluded our intentions. So much has been left unsaid, I can no longer read between our agile lines. So much has been lost amongst lithe verses, rhyme schemes, and poetic innuendo, till the truth became a rivulet of metaphoric lies because we’ve sacrificed words from the heart to get the exact rhyme. And so we glance at each other now, a sea of doubt between us, and I wonder if we’ve ever existed beyond mutterings of this, and that?
Carmen...This is the reason why I am always after your poems...Most of yours poems are perfect....They are true joy to read.... and true joy to think.... and ponder....love n luck....BHUWAN
Very beautiful poem of two peoples poetically tangled words. I loved this kind of interpretation.
Many loves,
Evan
Reviewed by Anna Marie Fritz (Reader)
Reviewed on February 22, 2004
Carmen...this is nothing short of magnificent!
My favorite line in this is:
"...til the truth became a rivulet of metaphoric lies..
because we've sacrificed words from the heart...to get
the correct rhyme."
This one line discloses a world of disharmony between
poet lovers. We get so "in tune," with "trying to say it
in verse," that we wind up with a Desifinado version of
what is really in our heart.
Very thought provoking write Carmen. I often wonder when I'm writing in rhyme if I've sacrificed what I truly wanted to put forth. Great write here! Lisa
Reviewed by Debashish Haar (Reader)
Reviewed on February 22, 2004
till the truth became a
rivulet of metaphoric lies
because we’ve sacrificed
words from the heart
to get the exact rhyme.
< < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < <
A Chef'de Ouevre of the FIRST ORDER...BINGO!!! WINNER for the contest..
Carmen this is outstanding.! I wish I wrote it;-) A perfect bull's eye! Brilliant work, every line!
"So much has been lost
amongst lithe verses,
rhyme schemes,
and poetic innuendo,"
And so we glance at each other now,
a sea of doubt between us,
Ah, there you have put your poetic finger on the trouble spot. I love this poem and have had the exact same experience (perhaps, but not in poetry) however I ruined the experience by say as baldly and as bluntly as I can exactly how I feel (if I know) and (if I don't know) I say that too. Funny, how we all think our love ones can read our minds, when in truth they can only read their own -- and part of the time at that.
My book of poetry is being redone by me, I have a beautiful cover designed and the book will have a few more than 200 poems in it. I am going to have it printed on demand here in Canada. When it is done I will let you know when it is done and if anyo
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Happy Healthy Day, My Most Sublime Poet!
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
Many loves,
Evan
My favorite line in this is:
"...til the truth became a rivulet of metaphoric lies..
because we've sacrificed words from the heart...to get
the correct rhyme."
This one line discloses a world of disharmony between
poet lovers. We get so "in tune," with "trying to say it
in verse," that we wind up with a Desifinado version of
what is really in our heart.
Love tinka
Vesna :)
rivulet of metaphoric lies
because we’ve sacrificed
words from the heart
to get the exact rhyme.
< < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < <
A Chef'de Ouevre of the FIRST ORDER...BINGO!!! WINNER for the contest..
"So much has been lost
amongst lithe verses,
rhyme schemes,
and poetic innuendo,"
a sea of doubt between us,
Ah, there you have put your poetic finger on the trouble spot. I love this poem and have had the exact same experience (perhaps, but not in poetry) however I ruined the experience by say as baldly and as bluntly as I can exactly how I feel (if I know) and (if I don't know) I say that too. Funny, how we all think our love ones can read our minds, when in truth they can only read their own -- and part of the time at that.
A wonderful evocative modern poem.