Is there a part of you lurking in me?
Just waiting for my subconscious
to set you free?
Just a minute piece
is all it takes..
To build upon
years of pain and hate.
Genetics...
I know they are there.
Just waiting for the right moment?
To enjoy my despair.
I can feel them at times
screaming to come out.
The bad thoughts cross my mind.
The words want to escape.
But I will not let them
as I fight to control
my own fate.
And if a time comes
that I can no longer control..
Then I will have to end it my way…
I will have to let life go..
For my children will
NEVER feel this deep dark hole.
I know that it could hurt
those who might care .
They may even hate me.
But I can only do what I can.
I will not pass on this life I know.
I hope they understand..
My life always switching, fighting, pretending.
Always cold.
This is not the life
I want my sons to know..
No darkness for my children…
just a small empty spot.
Where I once was..
but will soon be forgot..
But the love that I have given them
I know will see them through.
And in my heart I will know
that I did the right thing.
I did what I had to do.
To stop this line of madness
To stop all the generations of pain.
Such a small price to pay…..
With generations of
happy children to gain.

ERICA