It is like a seed..
I think that is how it begins..
burrowing under my skin..
maybe from the day I was born..
floating inside..
looking for a place
to plant itself and grow..
I am one with it..
Consumed by it..
It is all I am..
It is all I do..
or ever did.
It feels like a boulder
large and heavy... corroded.
Growing heavier by the day..
This disease that I allow to stay..
It is inside of me..
Yet no one sees..
I walk around pretending
nothing is wrong..
Knowing everything is..
And I am to blame..
This boulder so heavy
will never let me live
a single moment down.
It always makes sure I am planted
firmly on the ground
keeping my soul from flying free..
Preventing me from my destiny..
It know it has me in it's hold..
This large heavy boulder..
I cannot let go..
So I learn to live it
this heavy load..
Because I have no choice..
I do not know how to let go..
I think it is something
very few know..
Guilt... It is all I am
All i will ever be...
but hidden too deep
for anyone to see.