Tonight it was raining
so I walked outside..
I wanted to feel the cold hard drops
of water hit my skin
on this dark night..
I wanted the water to drench me..
drown me..
seep into my soul..
I wanted to freeze myself
from the inside out..
So no one could ever see
what I am really about..
Sometimes I feel like I am frozen..
as if my heart is made of snow..
Just frozen solid..
My face a mask..
of crystallized ice..
Not showing how I really feel
Just existing..
Never resisting.
Always smiling..
Never missing..
Just what everyone is expecting..
But to walk into the
warm heat of the house..
could break this mask I wear..
Crack the crystallized ice..
Jagged across my face..
Then everyone could see
the ugly inside of me..
Then I would slowly painfully
melt away..
Leaving nothing but a puddle of water
for someone to mop up the next day..
Because that is all I really am...
A sculpture of ice..
My mind frozen solid..
my heart as cold as snow..
Because that is how I really feel..
if you really want to know..
I am only pretending
to please ..
what everyone wants me to be..
Keeping myself frozen..
Staying out of the heat..
So I don't hurt the people I love..
and no one ever has to see..
who I really am.. what I want to be.
So I am but a sculpture..
of what you want in me
"So I don't hurt the people I love..
and no one ever has to see..
who I really am.. what I want to be.
So I am but a sculpture..
of what you want in me "
Great poem Erica. I can relate to this one right now. I have learned that I am not permitted to have my own feelings if they interfere with the feelings of those around me. Apparently my sole purpose in life is to please those around me and want nothing for myself. Life sucks. Here is a thought. When the ice or the snow melts the liquid that remains can easily travel and collect someplace else. Hopefully in a warm and more comforting place.
Exceptional poem Erica...somewhere there exists the warmth in you to have written this beauty, for a frozen heart could not have done it;-)Shalom...
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader)
Reviewed on February 21, 2003
Erica,
Another powerful cutting poem
"Crack the crystallized ice..
Jagged across my face..
Then everyone could see
the ugly inside of me..
Then I would slowly painfully
melt away.. "
Peg
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can feel the pain,sadness and loneliness..
as a writer
and I am sure
as a Person.
and no one ever has to see..
who I really am.. what I want to be.
So I am but a sculpture..
of what you want in me "
Stunning poem with much depth...BHUWAN
Another powerful cutting poem
"Crack the crystallized ice..
Jagged across my face..
Then everyone could see
the ugly inside of me..
Then I would slowly painfully
melt away.. "
Peg