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What a tangled web we weave..
When we practice to deceive..


Years of making a name..
Years of proving
She is worthy..
Of respect..
Of love..
Of trust..
Not so easy to do..
When you come from dirt..
Not dirt of the earth..
Dirt of the soul..
She feels like a
walking cadaver..
A waste of human skin.
But she tried..
Thought she had made it..
Two sons.
Married fifteen years..
College graduate..
Baseball coach..
and so much more.
She had to prove
she could do it all..
Not just to herself..
But all the others..
Who never believed..
Never cared..
Never loved ..
Only judged..
Everything about her.
She put her past
so far behind..
She did not want to think
of where she came from..
No...
She just wanted to
forget and move on..
She didn't want to think of
pain
abuse
abandonment
loneliness..
White trash that
is how she felt..
Then it all came back
like a giant tidal wave..
Knocking her off her feet..
Saturating her mind..
With memories..
Drowning her in pain..
Taking her..
Making her..
See and feel ..
Like that child
of long ago.
The child with
No hopes..
No dreams..
So she faced it..
And she changed.
So she is told.
Changed from the person
She invented..
To a person she
doesn't know..
She is so confused.
She doesn't recognize
this person she
has become..
She only knows..
She HATES
What she sees.
She hates
What she does..
She is a fake..
Deceit
Lies
She barely knows
how she feels .
She prays at times
God will take her..
End her misery..
But she knows
she is going to hell
She is her
own disappointment..
She has no one to blame
But
herself.