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Sara Coslett

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Member Since: Dec, 2002

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H2 Ho Ho Ho
by Sara Coslett → (All Poetry by Sara Coslett)
  
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I want a hummer
I need a hummer
Give me a hummer
Where is my hummer
What do I have to do to get a hummer
Hummer hummer hummer
All day, everyday
That’s all my hubby says
Hummer hummer hummer
I’m thinking to myself
What the hell is the big deal
Like he doesn’t already get them
Hmmm
Fine
I can’t take it anymore
Get down on the floor
Unzip
Go to work
Eyes glaze over
Excitement builds
Builds
Builds some more
Erupts
I’m still on the floor
He smiles and says
What prompted that
And I replied
You kept asking for a hummer
So I obliged
Laughing
Hysteria
He’s holding his sides
My face is turning red
I’m burning inside
He gets up
Helps me off my knees
We walk into the library
He sits in the chair
Computer is there
I sit on his lap
Licking and kissing
Face, neck, ears
Looking for some affection
You know
The return of a special favor
Mutual understanding
He types a keyword in the search engine
HUMMER
And then his eyes start to glaze
You know that pale shade of green
Vibrant
Sparkly
Shine of excited anticipation
But he’s not looking at me
Nope, looking at the screen he points
Slowly I turn my head
In fear
Of some porno star
With a giant sausage in her mouth
And I see
The ugliest vehicle on earth
HUMMER H2
And I let out a roar
No way baby are you ever getting one of those things
You’ll just have to live with the one you just got
Cause it’s the closest you will ever get to a HUMMER
From me

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 Reviews of "H2 Ho Ho Ho "
Reviewed by T. Emilie Dybevik (Reader)
Reviewed on March 13, 2003
Agree, very VERY fun to read. Teresa

Reviewed by Oisín Breen (Reader)
Reviewed on March 1, 2003
Fun

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
very humorous and well written! he already has one hummer i bet ;)

Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
They are a big thing here. Take it any way you want. [smiles]
~E

Reviewed by Morchuis
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
Hi Super,
They make a model one,its about fifty bucks, that will keep him quiet for a while.
Morchuis

Reviewed by Larry Skahill
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
wow - you really are super
good thing he didn't want a beetle

Reviewed by J John (Reader)
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
Fine punchy humorous write :) J & J

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
whaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha.....
i don't hum my bearings gave in.....
I have a piston knock........lol.....
A... V 8... try 8 times in one night but never succeeds.......ggggrrrr
I think I need a new Lover instead....don't you think...Am I a bitch now or what
Love Tinka

Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
LOl...wonderful humorous write...BHUWAN

Reviewed by Joel Raja Kumar J (Reader)
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
wow, Super girl, sure sounds all fun but there behind all this is pain, pain of a loss, pain of a hope gone bad. Poor little girl.

Better luck next time, Kiddo,

Love from India - Joel -

Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader)
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
Oh this one is such a delight to read.
sigh refreshing humor
Peg

Reviewed by James David Compton (Reader)
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
VROOOOOOOOOOM!

...what a gal.
(what kind of mileage do you get?)
-James

Reviewed by E T Waldron
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
As a person who loves God more than self, I have always hoped to live to see the day we could put rhetoric aside and realize most of us want the same things. We just have different ideas on how to achieve it. I hope we can have a peaceful place here at the Den for we are all here for the main purpose of writing poetry, and yes expressing ourselves and being read. It would be nice if we stopped the political baloney and put it in another forum on boards or something, and lets get back to enjoying each others poems. this comment will go on everyones post, so please don't feel singled out;-) Thank you, God bless your day, and make it a good one!

Reviewed by Christine Morell
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
Still laughing! I love it.
Chrissie

Reviewed by the phantom pheonix (Reader)
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
LOL this was hilaroiius great jobLOL

Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader)
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
Oh this is toooo funny.

Reviewed by Ted Sheridan (Reader)
Reviewed on February 28, 2003
Your Hummer's don't cost you $130,000 plus either, get him a Jeep, and keep the change.


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