EVERYTHING BUT ... (poem) by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com on AuthorsDen

EVERYTHING BUT ...
by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com → (All Poetry by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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And yet another 'Non-Poem' ... My 'STUFF' ... versus ... Your 'SHIT' ! "Hon - aren't you ready yet?"

Everything BUT... © - Tom Hyland - 1/22/12 The Kitchen Sink! That’s what’s in almost every Lady’s Purse! Estimated average weight = Twenty Pounds! Straps, Zippers, Pockets, Sections - And They Can Never Find ... Anything! Wallet, Keys, Glasses, Compact, Phone - Lipsticks, Pens, Paper, even ... Monthly ‘Doo-Dads’! Address Book, Receipts, Bills, Credit Cards - Cigarettes, Lighters - usually more then one, can’t find Any ... Coupons, Grocery List, ‘To-Do’ List - Nail-Care Kit, Miniature Flash-Light ... Pictures! Family, Kids, Grand-Kids, Pets - Digital Camera, Emory Boards, Eye-Liners ... Mascara, Rings, Ear-Rings, Bracelets - Extra Jewelry, Emergency Hidden Cash, Change ... Tweezers, Needles & Thread, Hand Sanitizer - Hand Lotion, Face Lotion, Skin Softener ... Facial Tissues, Used Tissues, Eye Drops - Nose Drops, Ear Drops, Throat Lozenges ... Breath Mints, Fingernail Polish, Polish Remover - CPR Sanitary Pak, Rouge, Eye-Brow Pencil ... Hair-Spray, Barrettes, Bobby-Pins - Perfume Spray, First-Aid Kit, Brush, Comb ... Triple Anti-Biotic Ointment, Anti-Perspirant - Chewing Gum, Breath Spray ... And - Last But Not Least - Some ‘Good Girls’ even Pack ‘Condoms’! - MALE COMPARISON - One Wallet! Pictures, Cash, Credit Cards, Spare Door Key! DONE! WHY? POCKETS! Four Pants Pockets - Shirt Pocket - Coat Pockets! And ‘WE’ Only Carry Necessities! And ... We’re Always Ready to Go ... SOONER! FEMALES ... GOD BLESS ‘EM ! © - TKH.

Reviewed by Patrick Granfors

Reviewed on January 23, 2012

Damn close but no cigar;-) You forgot the general residue, gum wrappers, stray unwrapped life savers, hair ball escapees from the brush, broken dog biscuits, 32 cent postage stamps, mace, bottled water, energy bar, aspirin. I don't even bother with the spare key. cuz p

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

You should try being married to an Injun Woman - she also packs food, blankets, dream catchers, and a fire starting kit. I'm usually ready to go, at least two hours before she is.

Reviewed by Chip Bergeron

Reviewed on January 22, 2012

The reason a woman's purse is so heavy is that she wants to be sure it makes an impressio9n if she needs to "whap" someoner with it.

Chip Bergeron

Reviewed by Ed Matlack

After showing us all what a woman carries I think it might be a good idea if u take a short vacation, far away from all women u know, go wherever you want just do so...Jurseeeeeeeeeeeey

Reviewed by Ruan Mills

I laughed til I cried! I know sooo many women like this - Although I have to say that in my house it is me who is waiting by the door with her keys in hand, whilst my husband potters around 'gettting ready'