Phantom Pain.

Of all the cruel afflictions I've endured,
Of all the ways a soul can suffer pain
The worst is one that surely can't be cured,
All efforts tried thus far have been in vain.

A Phantom Pain, a sorry gift from hell-
Some part of me that isn't even there
Screams out as maybe only pain can tell
A missing heart with so much love to share.

It has been known that missing limbs can feel,
The mind keeps faith in things that ought to be,
Though every sense would say it isn't real,
A pain from nowhere keeps on haunting me.

Such vacancy in such a vital place
Of one who always seeks to look inside,
My eyes behold a view of empty space
And look for answers they have been denied.

This Phantom Pain is coming from my heart,
At least, the heart I long to call my own,
But life conspired to tear the thing apart,
Except for what it means to be alone.

I still can feel the beating in my chest,
The blood still flows from scratches on my hand,
But something's gone, and I can hardly rest
Until I find a way to understand.

So, with a prayer, a wishful hope for healing-
I carry on in search of what to do,
But always with a strange, suspicious feeling
My heart can only reappear with you.

John H. Bidwell