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Mr. Ed

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Books
· My Dog Is My Hero

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Mystery of Madera Canyon

· Cemetery Island

· Gold River Canyon

· Curious Creatures - Wondrous Waifs, My Life with Animals


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· Lullabies and Legends of The Loon

· Build It, And They Will Come

· The Dog On The Run

· The Cat Who Came For Christmas

· The 4th of July Kittens

· The Dog At The Drive-Thru Window

· Home For The Holidays

· Two Bonded Street Orphans, In From The Cold

· A Survivor's Tale

· Pigs, Turtles, and Bugs!


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· In Memory of My Little Flower

· The Joys of Relocating With Lots of Cats and Dogs

· The Month of June is 'Adopt A Cat Month'

· The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly In Today's Pet World

· The Easter Skunk

· February is Spay and Neuter Awareness Month

· Stand Up For Senior Pets

· Hurricane Katrina - My Journey Back In Time

· Very Sadly, Not Much Has Changed In The Last Ten Years

· I Am a Dog, Not a Thing


Poetry
· Yet Another 'Holiday of Terror' for Them

· Wildwood at Sunrise

· Ode To My Cat Woman

· They Always Listen To Their Hearts

· Me and My Shadow(s)

· It's 'Be Kind To Animals Week'

· Where The Redwing Sings

· Robin's Return

· All Kinds Of Dogs

· The Midnight Raid On Donuts

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· International Writing Award

· My Animal Book Wins an Award

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Au Naturel

by Mr. Ed — Read all 1,530 poems by Mr. Ed

Saturday, July 30, 2005


Poem Artwork
-->

Part II to My Poem,


Rain – Glorious Rain!


 


 


 “They all gather ’round my teepee,
Late at night tryin’ to catch a peek at me,
In nothin’ but my buffalo briefs;
I got ’em standin’ in line”


 


Tim McGraw,


Indian Outlaw


 


 


 


My penchant for ‘the natural state’


Dates back to my earliest childhood days


When I delighted in stripping off my diapers


Giving me sheer joy and freedom to play


 


Several years later in my teenaged years


I loved skinny dipping at the old rock quarry


But ever since I’ve reached dreaded adulthood


This penchant has often made me quite sorry


 


On my very last day of active military service


I shed my uniform and strolled off base au naturel


And I was extremely fortunate the base commander


Truly had a profound sense of humor after all


 


And as I now get much older and much more senile


I often forget that our home drapery is see-through


And when one of our nosy neighbors tells my wife


My life long penchant usually makes her quite blue


 


That’s when I always attempt to explain to her


That we all arrived very naked into this earthly life


But my very sound explanations always fall on deaf ears


As they did with my mother - they now do with my wife


 


My latest rubber ducky episode with Mrs. Jenkins


Has now truly left my dear spouse more than blue


And she has very disgustedly informed me


That my ‘rompin in the raw’ days are through


 


She has also notified all of our neighbors


That she has instructed me to finally behave


But I truly fear that I will once again somehow forget


For with advancing age we humans can become depraved


 


My spouse very recently went out shopping


And bought me several new pairs of shorts


And I’ve valiantly vowed to change my heathen ways


But irritating my neighbors has become my new sport


 


Dear Lord please help me change my natural tendencies


And please don’t let me forget my sacred vow tonight


And please I beg you dear Lord don’t let it rain once again


For skinny dipping in our yard is just too tempting a delight


 


 


“I ain't lookin' for trouble,
We can ride my pony double;


But my dearest Apache wife,


Please don’t scalp me tonight”


 





©2005, Eddie ‘Au Naturel’ Kostro


 


 


 


 


 

 


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Reviewed by Huda Orfali
Reviewed on August 1, 2005
Very funny
Good one, ED

Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Reviewed on July 31, 2005
I am glad I read this long after I had eaten...but now I am going to bed, what nightmares I will experience this night...;) Ed

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
Something tells me your going to get scalped :-) ..........there is a reason I like living in my own home LOL. Fun write.

Reviewed by Marilyn Seray
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
Too funny, Ed. I'm with you though. But I do stay away from windows

Reviewed by E T Waldron
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
You are hilarious!;-) Rebecca scalp him of all hair not just his head;-) heehee!

Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
LOLOL. On holiday I had to wear a mini skirt on stage. Thing is I don't wear undies, so when i sat down infront of the audience, boy the camera's flashed..

Nice one fellow, grand po bar nutty boy.
PS your music never agrees with this boys comp. Just wonder if others can't see your work?

Reviewed on July 30, 2005
Ed <

YOu get into more trouble by trying to saty out of trouble--again, I'm laughitn too hared to properly review--suffice it to say, you've tickeld my funny bones again. Thanks for the much needed belly laughts--you shoudl seeeeeeeeeeee the looks I'm getting int the librayr--dang it, Ed, this review sucks, but your peotry dosen't. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL You, my friend, are a nut. ANd I'm glad ofr it--

(((HUGS))) and love, Krla. :)

Reviewed by SHERRY HEIM
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
LOLOLOLOL Ed! At least you aren't out mowin' your lawn naked...You aren't out mowin' your lawn naked, are you Ed??

"Being naked shouldn't be a sin
But when your draperies are thin
To the neighbors you're showin' just too much skin
As they're peering in your house again."

Check out this page. I am thinking perhaps it is all about you!

http://www.goodolddogs2.com/older.html

Take care,
Sherry

Reviewed by Danielle Mundy
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
LMAO

Reviewed by Richard Christopher Suarez (Reader)
Reviewed on July 30, 2005

Ed this has left me speechless!!!
What an absolutely outrageous story/poem of humor from
real life. I , once again , traveled with you.
Smiling the entire time! I'm still smiling!
Ed You're very talented , but this has been the peak of what I've
read from you.....sensational'....my friend , oh and I for one
am quite happy that you haven't changed .
I can't imagine missing out on this part this is the you
I am fortunate enough to get to know.
Peace and joyful living',
Rich Criso Suarez

Reviewed by Katy Walsvik (Reader)
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
I've heard it said, LE, that in our waning years we return to a childlike state... you never left! and thank god! for that...

If you want to parade around in your altogether, you go right ahead. At this rate, you will save mucho bucks on underwear. These rain poems belong in a library... mine, for instance! (wink)

(does this mean that when you email me you're um... er... NAKED? I have an idea... go over a borrow a cup of sugar from Mrs. Jenkins nude. No? It might get you to the north woods to live a lot faster! hehehe.... Phooey! on all the Mrs. Jenkinseseses of the world! I, too, have streaked in the rain... there's nothin' like it! Wheeeeeeeeee katy xox

Reviewed by Carole Mathys
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
Ed this is such a hoot, thanks for the morning chuckle!

Peace and love, Carole

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
you have a revealing sense of humor ;) well i hope you're using that pool, it must be some sight dancing around the raindrops in the yard ...

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
Hehehehehe...a true Eddie prelude...to forgiveness from his spous!!

Au Naturel always tha best!!

Love Tinky :p

Reviewed by Sandra Mushi
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
Lolololololololol .... haaaaaa haaaaa haaa ... Gawd, I can't review - laughing to hard to comment .... haaaa haaaaaaa haaaaaaa ... ...

Reviewed by Peter Paton
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
You might get away with that in a deserted lagoon in Utah in the cool of the evening Ed , anywhere else forget it !....hee hee
Real fun write partner !

"“I ain't lookin' for trouble,
We can ride my pony double;
But my dearest Apache wife,
Please don’t scalp me tonight”

Peter

Reviewed by George Carroll
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
Funny how wives worry about what nosey neighbors may see. Walking in the buff is fun and uninhibiting when done in your own home. Outside you can get arrested. Ha Ha. Splendid write Ed for us nature lovers.

Reviewed by Pacific Ink (Reader)
Reviewed on July 30, 2005
Excellent fun write, Ed!

Pacific

Reviewed on July 30, 2005
Hahahaha!!!!! So you've found yourself a new sport? - "Irritating your neighbours"? Heck, ask your wife to tell her neighbours to stop peeping in. It's not fair...unless they allow you both to peep at them too....LOL!!!

Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)


New Poetry by Mr. Ed
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