is showing all the signs of dying,

Which in itself is more…so much more,

than this already burdened soul can bare.

For the very thought of life without them,

leaves me broken in heart and hours on end crying.

For when I think of His truth, I think of My lies,

and I remember his promise of an eternal life.

However………

Bitterness now replaces my once tranquil soul,

as I bare silent witness in my ravaged mind,

for I watch as my love of loves is placed in deaths dreary hole.

I never dreamt that I would feel this way,

I never even thought I would see this day.

I do not dare with others to share,

For I live in a world of strangers who may not even care.

So if I must confess, this has left me truly depressed,

And I feel wholly betrayed,

For I have begged and prayed....

Pleaded for grace and even offered myself in place,

However, still it is all to no avail.

So I write of my anguish, in the telling of my tale,

for I had hoped for a bit relief from this private hell.

For I am angry, I am hurt,

And I have become discouraged…even in His word.

I know that I should not feel this way,

For I know in my heart of hearts that, there is the coming of another day…

A day when there will be no more sorrows to share nor burdens to bare,

a day when there will be no more tears to cry

and no one,,, no one will ever again have to die.

Yet even still Oh Lord, even in light of this coming day,

If you must have someone, take me instead, and let her stay.

This is my prayer, for I would give my all to just once more....

See a smile grace her face…

yes Lord, take me I say.

 J. Allen Wilson © 2004