Alone

Alone, so alone; days are built in silence.

Walls grow even higher; brick by brick in defense.

Normal has now become a faint memory.

Nights crucify and crush the inward soul.

The mind has become numb to the secret of its pain.

The heart grows heavier each and every passing day.

Seems like no use at times to keep up this my facade.

Only now, yet to no other, it is in the hands of God.

Everything that I now touch; everything my eyes see.

So many are their memories; oh so many wonderful things.

Treasures which once brought joy bring now so much grief.

I try to be strong, but I feel like such a hopeless little fool.

I try to bring my thoughts into subjection in abiding by God’s rule.

Yet, I still feel so alone in this silent battle for precious life.

I feel like I’m lost in the darkness groping for an unseen light.

These words, these simple emotions crawl forth from this heart of mine.

They wreak sad little commentaries in the inward selfishness of their ways.

They evoke the aura of not giving of myself in the desperate cry of time.

I write for an outlet to escape the maddening silence of my pain.

Yet I feel guilty in that I use the descriptions of me, me, me and I.

Selfish to my own pain am I in the secret and plaintive writes.

Tis no wonder to me that I sit alone and cry into the night.

There is no reason that should the worst come to be that I should stay.

For this silence would become sufficient enough to send me too on his way.

God…oh God, hear now this ever fragile little plea.

Hear and answer that we may once again go in health and peace to our beloved home by the sea.

Allen

7/2008