Freedom

I was once married for close to half my life.

I was a good husband to a wonderful wife.

Yet when she in true sadness passed away,

I to cope sought the freedom of another way.

What I did not see was the price of freedom for me.

I sought to escape to a gentle land free from pain,

Yet it was to this freedom that I did not gain.

I only felt through the heart what this was meant to be…

I was in reality chained to the darkness and not truly free.

I only sought true love to have and hold once again.

But I was a prisoner in my own mind seeking an end.

Oh to be free; to live in the light once again.

Yet to still only remain in spirit emotionally chained.

I only wanted love to reside within my soul and remain.

Yes, oh Yes, only to be free; free to love, free to live in my need.

Yet the answer, the elusive answer was not in pretentiousness freedom

but was held unknown within the palm of my hand for I held the key.

Then one day in the dark silence I prayed.

Oh God how I have lied to myself,

Lying so much to escape the pain,

Believing not what is true , even questioning Jesus

The love I once held, yet still have for you.

They - We speak of faith-

But what is Faith?

Is it the precept of things long ago taught?

Or is it the reality of our dreams sought.

I once cast my life on the broken shores of freedom

Only to realize and see.

I chose escape,

I believed my only and hopeless fault to be free.

Yet I was wrong,

To another I do belong.

Do I love her - the answer is YES.

For in my heart I am once again truly free,

For by God, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit,

Jan, ordained by God is meant for me.

J. Allen Wilson © 10/1/2010