You're always caterwaulin' about my smokin';

doggone that hairspray, I'm just a chokin'.

I try so hard, it's minimized and always outside;

summon up your grace, It'll eventually subside.

I know the Lord is pleased with my struggle;

the devil to my soul, he'll surely pummel.

Show me some mercy baby, I'll show you mine;

only then you'll come to see the grand design.

All your troubles are like a sea billow;

gone over my head, I certainly need my pillow.

It's definitely your call, no pressure at all;

please keep me from turning into a screwball.

You like Bon Jovi, I prefer country;

let's weave this into a harmonic pleasantry.

He got the goldmine, you got the shaft;

now you'll buy the condo; no need to be daft.

Unemployment claim solved, answered was my prayer;

no need to panic baby, now help me if you dare.

Your momma may drive you crazy, but you know she'll surely help;

even with that trade-off, just run like the antelope.

You're always caterwaulin' about my smokin';

doggone hairspray, I'm just a chokin'.

Now it's down to you, I'm cravin' peace and tranquility;

please don't let my nerves become an abnormality.