This is consistent and absolute with all unborn infants.  They say it is there to keep the unborn infant alive while nestled in her womb, warm and loved.  

 

As the mother gives birth, the hole is sealed and the infant is born into the arms of a mother’s love.

 

Sometimes an infant is born and the hole does not seal.  The infant does not survive or is cast into a system devoid of such things as warmth, comfort and love.  

 

I was born with a hole in my heart, unsealed; left open and devoid of all love, unnatural.  Cast aside as any other orphan with no real ties to anyone in the world.

 

I have lived for almost 50 years in a life filled with strife.  Born, not out of love and built for war.  I have lived loveless and in conflict, knowing nothing else but preparing myself for battle.  I have lived for the victory over others and won, moving from one conflict to the other not caring whether I lived or died but caring only that I crush all who stand in my way.

 

As I grew older I tried to do right by others and the children I have brought into this world through relationships I did not truly care about.

I look at myself now, a life time later, void of any real existence, substance or soul.  I travel through life now, doing what I was built for, only in a somewhat different capacity.

 

As I near the end of my unnatural existence I realize that all I have has is my honor and integrity as a warrior and the fortitude to push on.  But I grow weary as I am only a man.

 

It is the true love of a woman that saves me.  A women that is younger than half my age. She is smart beautiful and is the only person in all my years that has looked into my eyes told me I was amazing.  

 

This love she has given to me is what saves my broken heart, so that I may live out the rest of my unnatural life as a man not born for conflict but a man who passes in love….

 

M.S.