something happened
when you turned twenty-eight.
after those peace corp years.
after you fell in love
the high school and college child
your brother and i knew was
slightly brooding slightly sensitive
but you joked with us about your plants
track lighting and your slender silhouette
You threw your plant out of the window
and we all laughed
you and your brother and i
we were all we had and we were tight
you chided me
you were always ready with
a hug when you saw my tears
you told me i was a cool mom
you always called during those
long worrisome high school nights
you called to let me know you
were alright
something happened when i asked
about your one true love
it was not my business
but it was my business to
create the wedding of your dreams
you spoke the language of your
new world with your lovely foreign bride
your son will speak a language i do not
know
now you are an eggshell man
i walk on white sticky fragile cells
i crack them over and over again
when i try to be funny or when
i ask about your days
i call with sweat popping
from my forehead before you answer
the long silent lapses on the phone
are deafening lonely sounds of
eggshells being crushed by me
Oh Janet I can feel how hard this relationship is for you....my family grew away from each other with time too - but we still always knew that if we NEEDED each other, we'd be there for each other. Not being a parent I can't totally understand, but I DO know that it has to be difficult to accept an altered role in the life of your child as they grow up. This is a heart-breaking but extremely well written expression of that "change".
Janet, I'll keep this as a reminder. My mother raised me alone, for the most part, and I was a real handful sometimes. If the "right girl" ever comes along, I'll probably not tell Mom our secrets (remember being in love? in love now? the passion of that common joining? those moonlit secrets that deepened the ties between you?) but I'll let her know she is still very much a part of our lives.
Janet, I feel the sense of wondering how such things can happen. Yet they somehow do to most of us! Eelationships are very difficut things to manage.We don't give them enough thought, and we take too much for granted.You have my thoughts and prayers. A superb write on the topic!
It is so hard for a parent to feel they are losing control of the love they share with their children. No one but another parent can comprehend this feelig of helplessness but time alone will bring the path to where you will walk side by side.
A big hug now and then helps too,
Felix
Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on December 17, 2004
Changes in relationships can be very difficult some times. Great capture with the last thing lines, tying the whole thought together.
WHISPERS OF THE HEART is artist and author J. Allen Wilson's second book of poetry.It can be autographed and shipped within 48 hours of order. NO LONGER AVAILABLE.
If you tend to believe romantic, passionate, masculine poetry is a thing of past eras, read "She Intrigues Me," and be swept away in the beautiful craft of a contemporary poet of love.
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Peace
A big hug now and then helps too,
Felix