A Madd Dinner Party

Pickled Turnips and Jam and a Dish flopping fish

by Janice Engle

copyright 03-03-2003



PICKLED TURNIPS AND JAM AND A DISH FLOPPING FISH



Good day to you sir's and madams and mams'

Tonight I'll be serving pickled turnips and jam

I do hope you like them the way that they are

all gooshy and hot in an old mason jar

Just dig in ,I'm sure that you'll find them quite good

My pickled turnips and jam that is grand

I'll even serve more in Grandmother's shoe

with a straw that is pink and purple and blue

Or I can serve them in Fido's old dish

I'll even throw in a dish flopping fish

Now tell me dear sir's and madams and mams'

Would you like pickled turnips and pink looking jam?



We don't like your idea of what we should have

and we think you should leave for we see you are mad !

Take these horrid old turnips

your nasty pink jam

your dish flopping fish

and get out while you can !



Oh, good grief , how ungrateful
you all have become !

When all that I wanted to have was some fun

I will not ! take my turnips and pink looking jam

for that is not the man that I am

I will not take my fish that is fresh as they come

I will not get out no!

you can't make me run!



So the thing stood in silence

to wait their reply

He knew what was coming

He could see in their eyes



First flew the fish right over his head

then came the jam

all pinkish and red

next came the turnips

he watched them fly by

then out of nowhere

one hit his eye



Enough is enough ! said the thing

standing there

They got up to leave

they were going somewhere

Now what will I do ?

Where will I go

Who'll clean up this mess?

Just me and Fido?





The awful ole thing stacked it all on his back

picked up Fido's old dish

his cane and his hat

Then opened the door

and walked out of sight

to find hungry people

alone in the night



janice engle