I know that I shouldn't be doing this, but...
I was lying in bed, and...
all I could think about ...
was you.

All the happy times I had,
just being with you;
watching the sunset...

Holding each other...
listening to your breath;
feeling your heartbeat,
and sensing your measured turmoil...

Our thoughts and emotions blending,
without even the slightest effort;

like it was something that was meant to be.

I keep going back to the way you made me laugh,
like nobody else ever had;
your smile and your humor,
lifting me up, out of my doldrums;
giving me strength I never knew I had;
making me truly happy,
for the first time in my life.

I've always heard that it will get easier;
that the pain will go away...

But where I am right now
is the darkness before the light;
I'm in this cold, empty tunnel,
and I can't seem to see any light,
no matter how hard I try.

The ache is just so unbearable right now,
it hurts so terribly bad...
Every day that goes by,
I realize even more...
that you are never coming back;
that I have lost you...
forever;

And all I can do is scream and cry...

It's just too hard to do anything,
when you feel like
a part of you is missing.

Everything you did, and...
Everything you told me,
lies or truth,
keeps running through my head...

I always told you,
I didn't know what I would do,
if I ever lost you...
And now, I'm living it --

And it's so lonely.

Everything reminds me of you...
I fed the ducks,
and all I could do was cry,
because I remember you...
feeding them,
there beside me;
smiling at me,
always telling me how special I was,
and how wonderful I made you feel.

I haven't forgotten anything
you ever said to me;
the ways that you looked at me,
lovingly;
longingly...

the special ways you touched me.

I don't think you ever truly realized,
just how special you are to me...
how strongly I feel
we belong together.

If you felt anything like what I felt,
you will hurt...
like I am hurting...
you will ache to be back with me;
you will cry for what we had and,
more importantly,
for what we could have had.

I've never begged before,
but you mean the world to me,
so I'm begging you, right now,
PLEASE...
come back home,
to me.

Copyright (c) Jeff Mason