I fell. I cried.
I yelled out, so loud
I had thought God and
the angels in heaven would
hear me and maybe up there
they did. But no one down here
would.
They would deny, ignore, dismiss,
label and blame me for all of my
pain; claiming I brought on every
thing myself. They told me I raised
hell, They said now that I have had a
taste I had no right to complain.
I, the child so new to the world, just
learning to walk upright and wanting
to run, nay fly, fly to a more welcoming
place, fly to a warm embrace that will
melt the cold ice of these cell bars and
be freed.
We hear a lot about white privilege,
so much about how a race or color
have been wronged. But even though
it is true things aren't really that black
and white.
Privileged means no one assumes
or takes anything for granted
about you due to displaying a
difference. And we're all different.
I took in my lessons and information
differently than the other children in
school. They weren't prepared.
I was too young to be prepared
myself . I was wronged and the
other children were privileged.
I, taken out of school early due to
their frustration. What happened to
children whom tormented me?
I have never been privileged.
And when I cry out I am shamed
not comforted. I once reached out
for the only light I saw, not realizing
it was a cruel illusion. Nobody warned
me. Now they all judge me and assume
so much about me, so much negativity.
It must be a trap of the human mind to
see the darkness never the light.
They don't know what it's like to not
be given much choice and have your
voice drowned out and ignored.
Nobody calls one of them a fraud.
It's easy for one of them to receive
sympathy. Their color is branded
on them. Their wound is external.
Their pain comes out in real rage.
Anger seems to have been an
emotion I have been deprived
of. They tell me not to get angry
but I still feel it. I may be white
but I have not been privileged.
Once I cried out so loud I swore
heaven must have heard. I have
wounds worthy of rage. None of
it I have projected on another race.
Black and white seems to be the
only thing the world can see.
No one is privileged when all
can be oppressed because of a
slight difference, because the
world we're in is quick to
assume, because human
beings draw lines and
splits the human race
in two.
I don't know, because I never experienced that. When my shriveled and unmoving hands labeled me a crippled "handicapped" (cap In hand) individual, I demanded going back to my college studies the way they were before and excelling above all others so that they could not claim me different except as exceptional, something that even they, my detractors, could not achieve.
Ron