Absolutely beautiful….So gentle it almost floats…Thanks, Dani
Reviewed by Sirrus Poe (Reader)
Reviewed on October 2, 2002
Hello Ron,
I agree with the others this is very well done and the flow is almost perfect. I say almost perfect because of the punctuation that is inserted into the poem. The two that you have seem to hold up the progression of the poem. If they were removed the reader would then choose to pause when a breath is needed or when they feel a pause is required. In this way you give the reader total control. ALso the one after "still" really seemed out of place. I see this is included in a book and congrats on the publication. Take what I say and either trash or keep it, just my humble opinion. I liked this and those are really small nits. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more.
I loved him. At age twelve he touched my heart with his music. At age twenty he captured my heart when our eyes met as he sat on a stage and sang Four months later, he fractured my heart with his refusal to allow us to stay together. At age seventy
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And in their place
Will be a chill
And a note
The title brought me in, to an oblique sadness that ends...thankfully.
goodjob!
I agree with the others this is very well done and the flow is almost perfect. I say almost perfect because of the punctuation that is inserted into the poem. The two that you have seem to hold up the progression of the poem. If they were removed the reader would then choose to pause when a breath is needed or when they feel a pause is required. In this way you give the reader total control. ALso the one after "still" really seemed out of place. I see this is included in a book and congrats on the publication. Take what I say and either trash or keep it, just my humble opinion. I liked this and those are really small nits. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more.
loved this!
loved the images in verse and how it flowed so well.
Peggy
Love, Janet xoxoxo