nightmares cause insomnia

Restless in sleep,
I clamber out of bed and plod to the back porch
Its the whispering hour
winter’s breath jolts me sober as I pull the porch door
even with a clear celestial ceiling, light can’t penetrate the interlaced canopy of trees bordering the comatose creek just beyond the porch

Plopping myself down into the chase lounge,
I surrender a depressed breath
It’s been months of insomnia,
months since the explosions
months of being a civilian
Most days hyper-vigilance takes control of me
at night war demons visit behind my closed eyes
and bring agitated sleep
if sleep occurs at all

Every day, anger engulfs me
like an unpredictable explosion
Medications aid, but their barriers are easily broken,
I don’t always remember to take the handful of pills

I cut the cap off my Stradavarius, toast the foot, light,
inhale
it’s one of my many new vices as of late,
it helps stave off the nightmares for now