I wrote this years ago and managed to keep it hidden from everyone I've ever cared about, including my spouse. Unfortunately I can't stop thinking about it lately. I go to bed reciting this poem. I wake up reciting it exactly where I left off. It's time for "the world" to see this poem. I also added to the poem to make it more complete. Everything after the stanza that starts with:
"I hid it away or made it a joke
And wonder how I didn’t choke"
is new. I hope this truth about my life doesn't turn any of you off of my writing.
This is no test, this is no joke
This is what made my mind almost go up in smoke
I think it’s time for the world to see
A tiny little piece of me
It was a game, it was no joke
It’s what almost made my life a joke
And all of you need to see
This tiny little piece of me
I thought it was love
He had me all mixed up
Now I just want to throw up
And so it starts, and now you’ll see
This tiny little piece of me
He took the dearest thing from me
He took the ability to love from me
And now I finally see
This tiny little piece of me
I hid it away or made it a joke
And wonder how I didn’t choke
On the words that hid the true me
But now it’s here for the world to see
This not so tiny piece of me
It didn’t take much time
To write this rhyme
But a lifetime for the world to see
This not so tiny piece of me
I didn’t know it was wrong
Sometimes we did it all afternoon long
But now I finally see
What it was he did to me
It’s an enormous piece of me
I wasn’t raped, there was no force
But that’s just an excuse of course
I thought it was love, you see?
Now you start to understand the scared child in me
It’s still an enormous piece of me
Incest was always a joke
That was said in a rhyme as you drank your coke
Sitting at school where no one could see
This tiny little piece of me
I thought it was time for the world to see
This very painful piece of me
Maybe now I can finally heal
Now that I know how to feel
I finally have what he took from me
And maybe now this piece of me
Will be tiny after the world sees
What it was he did to me
Sometimes you have to releaase your pain in words. It often is hidden from those that touch your heart. I know that those that are close to you will be there to help you heal that part of you that you have chosen to share. Your heart is tied to a spouse that loves you more than any words could ever express. Love will carry you upon clouds to a place of safety.
Melissa, nobody is going to turn away from you because you are trying to heal. This is the write that you should have shared long ago. Keep your head high..you've done nothing wrong..we all have fears when it comes to discovery.
You've let it out...now release it and watch it dissolve into thin air.
I trust that you will find the peace that you search for. Lisa
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You've let it out...now release it and watch it dissolve into thin air.
I trust that you will find the peace that you search for. Lisa