Written simultaneously with Eve's Autumn Labour, jumping straight from autumn to spring (I wish!) I nearly called it Echo's to balance that last line, but thought Narcissi worked better! :)) xx
NARCISSI
You were so sure
I was a tree
you pressed yourself
against me
for shelter;
convinced
you were the wind
I let you
wrap archer’s arms
around me,
tattoo my bark
upon your chest;
I second everything that Felix stated....and that Charlie said this is a feeling poem.......it really is....and actually I am going to save it....there is so much for to this.......very symbolic and romantic....a joining of creativity....like dryads of poetry....smiling.....pax A
Outstanding imagery, Kate. I love-love your "p"-"b" blendings in the last two stanzas, sounds like puddling water, lapping. I also love the "w" sounds in the beginning, sounding like the wind themselves. It's impossible not to feel one with this poem and experience that bark-peeling sensation. --Charlie
Love it Sweet Kate, the strength of your descriptions...simple yet so very effective gives me the feeling that I am there myself as the wind and feel the coarse roughness of your bark. Beautifully done Kate...love it.
hugs from across the pond
Fee
Kate, it is always an emotion to read your words. I love how you have mixed the essence of nature with the human condition in this. You make us think...and then think again.
A more minimalistic work, for its use of few, chosen words and very few effects, alliterations... something that feels like the elements you mention. Blending the human element with raw nature.
Your verses mean so much to me. I am against you in a good way, Kate. I hope you know what I mean. This is my kind of poetry. Love and best wishes to you all ways,
My, my my! What creativity, what charming metaphors! This is in the form of poetry written by Pablo Neruda, where he describes his wife in terms of earthly things. Just excellent!
Kate, I love the approach here and of course the choice of language and phrasing...much different to and more intimate than my Narcissus piece of a few months back.
John
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Leaf of the tree, apple of the tree, branch of the tree, trunk of the tree, roots of the tree, you've joined Cosimo, Kate!
the baron! :-)
for alliteration when it is done properly, as you do with those
w sounds. -gene.
Love and {{{hugs}}},
Leland
always leaves me in awe,Kate! Kudo's..ET
Christine
Peace,
Dan
hugs from across the pond
Fee
Edwin
Axilea
Undone by the beauty, the grace, the passion in these exquisite lines - sigh. Wish I could do this, like you do ... well done.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Sandie Angel :o)
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in America, Karen Lynn in Texas. :D
You write with such great and meaningful depth - always exceptionally penned!
Best wishes,
Lance
Regis
Newfie hugs, Rose
John