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I’m fearful of
what’s in the void
in my heart…
the one that formed,
when you left.
It’s a chasm of tears
boiling,
churning,
teeming with ache…
I’ve buried the pain
where no one can look…
under heavy, dense layers
of work and of sleep,
more work and more sleep…
I grip hard and hold fast
to the layers
that swathe
sorrow,
the heartache,
unbearable loss…
But the layers are slipping,
disrobing the void,
flinging one, then two,
then another one yet…
like Salome’s veils…
soon all will be bared,
like the nerve of a tooth,
pulsing,
straining
a crumbling dam…
Then bittersweet tears
released from their lair,
will pour out, gush out
like Niagara,
Iguazu,
Tahquamenon Falls…
until all that remains
is that void in my heart…
and I finally
admit that
you’re gone.
Michelle Close Mills ©
On June 27th, 2005, my father William Allen Close went home to be with God after a thirteen year battle with emphysema.
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Take care,
Sherry
Phil
Regis
Love Tinka
CJ
Like so many illnesses, emphysema is one of those that slowly take our loved ones, while we can do nothing but sit and watch.
That pain becomes almost or even moreso intense than that of the patients'. In the end we know their suffering has ended, and they are at peace. But ours? We can only take one day at a time, and get through it without them the best way we can, and with the passing of time will come the ease of our loss. We don't want to forget them, (as if we could anyway) but there does come that point where we have to let them go, and just be happy knowing that we will one day be together again, and what a wonderful time that will be.
My prayers are with you as you go through this very difficult time.
Lisa
Felix
Eileen