Santa, Me and my Jeep

It was Christmas Eve, and I just got home

Parked my jeep and popped a beer

The wife and kids were watching the Grinch

And I didn’t have a care

From my easy chair, outside my window I saw

The snow begin to fall with the sun

I thought to myself four wheeling’ later

I didn’t know the fun had just begun

I answered the phone Merry Christmas

In my most jovial voice

Ho, ho, ho, Felix, Santa here I need your help

I hate to call but I really have no choice

I broke a runner on my sled

And the deer all have the flu

Think you and that jeep can haul my load,

And my bag of goodies too?

Well never fear old Santa dear

We’ll both be there in a flash

Just have to fill the gas tank

And I’ll make my YJ dash

I caught the keys and grabbed my coat

Kissed the family at the door

Saying Ill be back on Christmas morn

Depend on that for sure

So I dropped the jeep into 4H

Felt the mudders bite the snow

Then off I went to the North Pole

Practising my “ho, ho, ho”

I found Santa sitting by the pole

A worried look neath his snowy beard

It seemed like a good idea Felix

But this load is bigger then I feared

I looked at it and said lets load

This is the first Jeep Christmas run

Come on Santa move your but

We have to finish before the sun

We squeezed and pushed and packed with care

Till we finally got it in

And we climbed aboard and Santa said

Felix do the honours, let’s begin

“First Cylinder, second cylinder, third and fourth as well

On high range and on low

On front axle and on rear

Lets do this “ho, ho, ho”

Well we crossed Canada quick as a wink

And Santa done his thing

Though instead of sleigh bells in the night

My air horns I would ring

We did the states with true aplomb

Four wheeling round the interstate mess

Crossed the border down at Baja

Rode the Mexican trail I must confess

Drove the swamps of South America

And over the mountain peaks

Island hopped to Australia and New Zealand

In hours stead of weeks

Motored our way up to jolly England

Delivered our gifts in Paris too

Left treats in wooden shoes

For the Dutch children it’s true

Trying to make our way to Asia

But we had to shift to low

To cross the Alps for chocolate

It’s where Santa said to go

Did the great wall riding two high

Then dropped off presents there

To the little people of Japan

Santa said it’s only fair

The jeep next turned north to Russia

In Siberia the YJ bit the snow and ice

Never even had to use my chains

Santa said ho, ho…how nice

Then o’er the Arctic Circle

I really poured on steam

With our load a whole lot lighter

You could hear that engine scream

The northern lights lit our last leg

As I pulled up at the pole

Santa snoring in the shotgun seat

All tuckered out from his role

I woke him and he perked up

Reached in his bag one final time

He had one last present

And I knew that it was mine

A gift certificate for “Jeeps Are Us”

With my name spelled out in gold

“Ho, ho, ho,” old Santa said once more

“Replace your shocks they’re getting old.”

So with one more blast of my air horns

I spun off from his sight

Screaming Merry Christmas everyone,

And to all a great Jeep night.