A deeply sad but beautiful write.
Best wishes always
from
kay.

Your sad mood has given birth to this wonderfully, expressive poem! Very well done! I like Sherry's idea below ... you should consider it strongly. May your holiday season be joyous!

So much emotional pressure is heaped up on these special occasion 24 hours - times when all is supposed to be well with the world. Whichever side of the fence we sit, those with Big Hearts can see the totality: from within families there can be the usual upsurgence of stress and tension - character-conflict. From outside there is the plight of those who do not choose their own solitude and long for some sort of kindred fraternity. I weep with you, Felix, cos I can feel and see it all from both sides. You have sympathy, empathy, honesty and understanding. I am glad this is a passing mood - I too was hopelessly depressed yesterday and couldn't understand why. I am, to be honest, much happier back here today with my other "family" - quite an admission, eh? I truly do not like the pressures that build round "dates". Better to reflect and remember 24/365. Anyways, hope you feel lifted, back in the saddle and riding with the pack as always! :)) LOL and Christmas Kisses, Kalamity Kate xx

Drinking didn’t make it any better
Happy pills seemed to be a silly lie
Now I pour my sadness out to this screen
Breathe one more defeated sigh.

So many holidays I spent numb, believing I was having a good time... now I can embrace the loneliness and the pain, because I can truly FEEL it... and realize that these not to good feelings, are still a wonderful gift...

Merry Christmas,
Dave

sending good vibes you way, Felix ... try to find the happiness within you ... it's a struggle but fight against negative thoughts ...

Felix, this makes me so sad for you. You might alone, physically, but spiritually we are all with you. Happy Holidays Felix. ~ Sara

It is sad that Christmas can often bring on depression. Do you think it's the commercialization of the holiday? The pressure to buy loved one gifts when you have little money?

This time of year brings sadness to more than a few but place your trust in God and He will see you through. The heart that is open will be filled with Christ's peace. Have a Blessed Christmas Felix.

This hits homeground...I can soooo relate to this!!

More tears flowing for the unknowing of tomorrow might bring!!

Warm Hugs!!

Love Tinka

Felix, I understand this lament and cry along with you for all the reasons that we are never sure of to begin with, but just know of the feeling. Both Leah and I will keep you close in our thoughts and may your spirits be lifted this night.

Allen

sending you holiday good will...close your eyes...and believe it....last christmas...i felt like this too!

If you must cry, cry a teardrop ornament to hang on India's tree. Things are sparse in India this year. I think we have plenty of teardrops to donate. Merry Christmas, Felix! It's good to read you.

Sage

I don't know why you cry on nights like these, but if I cry it is because a part of me is thinking ahead to a time when I will not be here with all of these wonderful people I love so very much and they will be having this celebration without me. If you haven't already, you should start a tradition of reading one of your Christmas poems each year as your family is together. Pick a special time, like right before you turn on the lights on the tree or right after, so the children associate an event with your poem. Make a book for your kids and grand kids with all your Christmas poems in them so that when they pack away the ornaments and lights your book will go into the same box, so next year they will have it. Each year give them copies of the new ones. When you are no longer here to read them, someone else will do it for you and as they do, everyone will be hearing your voice and remembering Pops. Have a blessed Christmas, Felix!
((hug))
Sherry