Poetry is always subjective, Calvin, what one sees clearly another sees as surreal. The brief nature of thoughts used in poetic content leaves much of the "meaning" to the reader. I think that is why Andre spoke of the full breath; it seems to force the thought of the author more by making a bit of a more powerful statement. All this aside, and I am not a schooled poet, so take my criticisms with a grain of salt, I enjoyed this offering and the vision that propells the eye with the command from the spirit.
Take care,
Sherry

The vision from a staring eye...window to the soul...captured to perfection!!

Amazing imagery most vivid to the mind deep within the corners of the skull!!

Love Tinka

Andre, thank you for your spot on comment. Yes, perhaps you are absolutely correct about the enjambment decisions. But then normally I enforce them at places where you get maximum tension of thought, but as you say one should consider the "poetry of the ear" which is more ancient and more fundamental than the "poetry of the mind" or the "poetry of the eye". Thank you so much for your indepth crit..Thanks to Eileen and Abherjani for dropping into my port. Yes, friends, a surreal element is there, but then they have a nihilistic intention. But then I should bring the sonic strength, which Andre pointed out to make it appear more natural.

Thanks once again,
Calvin-n-Hobbes

I agree with Aberjhani Calvin...a beautifully surreal vision within the eye of the beholder that speaks of ever evolving lucidity...
Mountains high enough to need oxygen...Eileen

Powerfully visionary and surrealistic in its layering of metaphorical imagery. The allusion to mansions in the first line recalled, for me, the biblical quote, "There are many mansions in my father's house," a statement I have always preferred to interpret metaphysically as implying numerous possible states of expanded consciousness. Thus, from the first line onward I found myself humming to the rhythms of a shifting awareness, in turns contracting toward self-confrontation, and flowing outward, expanding or "journeying" if one will, toward healing in the form of elevated clarity. A JOURNEY made for an absorbing read to say the least.

Harmony flows through a rich imagery depicting the contents of
"A Journey" on the philosophic-poetic world.

I enjoyed the reading of "A Journey".

Keep posting, Poet!


Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
P.S.:>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>The first stanza could be revised to improve its sound from the third to the fifth lines. (In a free verse the line must take full breath.)