got that zingy feeling reading this. believe it or not, that's a compliment, Calvin. your last line swept me away. or pulled me into a vortex, I am unsure. in any case, I must now go read the earlier poem titled thus and return often to read your exemplary work. thanks, Dawn
Calvin your poem is tightly woven in truths and guarded feelings, for the horrors we are victims of in today's chaotic world. What continues to emerge should be a warning to us all that it will only worsen as the future becomes a nightmare for us all, unless we can remember to keep our focus on Creator.
there is not much to add after Kate's comment but i find the dexterity of this poem enhances its intent ... it's power is its ability to capture the quintessence of the moment exposed ...
That is a grand compliment for a rookie like me. I see Borges as one of those Hallowed names, whose originality is stunted by the translitarian efforts of Alastair Reid. But I am not cursing Reid for that, LOL! Even people like W.H Auden have messed up with translations (never read his versions of Goethe or Brecht: statutory warning! LOL). You are absolutely correct about L4, that is getting etched out in the next revision. But then as Oscar Wilde once said "I removed a comma in the morning, in the evening I replaced it back".
That's amazing! I have just been back to The Great Sleeves of Wind to see your amendments, and STILL these four lines stand out as the great microcosm of the whole piece. I would almost be tempted to think that even the first three lines "do" this, Calvin, without even the need for the fourth. For me, I think the final line here makes a slightly different point and the power of the brevity and concept of the previous three are stunning on their own. Just my "tiny" thoughts. :)) Very polished and poised. From what little I have read of Borges, he seems to me to be mathematical and framed in his approaches, experimenting "outside the box within". For me your writing seems far more fluid and flows through various membranes, rather than being contained by them. But, as you know, my reading and understanding of such thing is very, very limited. The stature of this particular poem is in it's very title for starters, I think. A winner for sure! LOL Kate xx
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That is a grand compliment for a rookie like me. I see Borges as one of those Hallowed names, whose originality is stunted by the translitarian efforts of Alastair Reid. But I am not cursing Reid for that, LOL! Even people like W.H Auden have messed up with translations (never read his versions of Goethe or Brecht: statutory warning! LOL). You are absolutely correct about L4, that is getting etched out in the next revision. But then as Oscar Wilde once said "I removed a comma in the morning, in the evening I replaced it back".
About Borges, that is great compliment.
Calvin