downward spiral
dreaming dreams that can’t be
wishing I was
what I’m not
go through this
now and again
when
I get myself backed into a corner
when
I get a little carried away
when
I’m tired of playing
the
who do you think I am game
being so many people
jack of all trades
master of none
me
push me pull me
and I forget who I am
I forget
and I look out from these eyes
and I see
there is a whole world
beyond mine
there are people living just like me
moving through
shuffling as best as they can
all of us
just shuffling
and I see the tiredness
and I wonder if I gave it to them
if it
really
just all comes from
me
I am the carrier of hopelessness
the harbinger of despair
lightening rod for dismal-ity
and I infect
whole generations
and I don’t know how
I got this job
just that I do
it seeps from my pores
and I get so tired
of trying to believe
the disease
of self loathing
is
not
real