I am but the shadow of the flesh that dwelled in this World
Back to watch what has changed and has not
Since I left this cheerful Earth,
To behold the Dawn, which chases away the dark
Just as yesteryear when I waited for it on my porch.

The Fog’s thick veil descended on the Earth
And World was no more, as yesteryear when
I sat in silence in the fragrant garden, by sadness overcome.
Perhaps it can recall the way it filled my heart with pleasant pain
When its white fluffy sheet concealed the World?

Behold the mighty wind’s uncouth attack
Which blew away the fog and World regained its sight,
But I, alone, remained a shadow of  myself.
The grass has shed its dew, the tears of gratitude
For humble being got dried up by the cheerful Sun.

The leaves that sprang to life are yearning for eternity
Majestically ogling lonely shadow
Which once was searing as mighty Sun itself.
They soon will learn to their dismay
That Autumn’s ruthless court
Has sealed their verdict and the Rain
That used to give them life
Will cry the tears of grief on their somber grave.

Behold the bird which gathered all its friends
For the abundant feast: it may be a descendant
Of the one I used to feed in my lush garden.
Or those squirrels bouncing on the trees –
They come from those that used to beg for treats
As I went out on my daily chores.
Like their grandparents they still compete
In never-ending jumping contest.

Behold this old dilapidated house
In which my soul was always seeking refuge,
And where the one who in my heart I cherished
Unearthly love destroyed by evil malice.
Unearthly – that’s the word I chose
Because it was unrecognized on Earth.
And I became a shadow, and the blaze,
Which burned so brightly in my eyes
Forever was extinguished.

The fiery lips that touched a lover’s flesh
Became as cold as ice.
The body where passion once erupted
Like lava from infernal depth,
Has gone to naught, and I was told
That peace eternal I acquired.
But what is peace for anxious soul
Where passion candle kept on burning?
The soul which with the ocean competed
For title of impudence?
The one which rose with the Sun and shone in shadows,
The one which fell in love with fog’s misty embrace
Rejected by the others?
What’s peace for cheerless soul, which lost its native land?
Or, would it have the peace if it remained on Earth?

Oh, Earth, do you recall the lonely one,
Who always dreamt of bliss and searched for Love?
Well, know thee, she failed!
Forgive me, Earth, I valued you not much,
I searched for Paradise well outside your realm.
Yet, isn’t it Paradise when flowers bloom
Like Heaven’s carnival?
Or, having lost its mind from their splendor,
The wind rips off the fragrant petals
And blows them away?

And isn’t it Paradise when graceful birds
As day breaks wake you up from slumber
And sing sweet melodies till dusk
So that your pain you mustn’t forget?

And isn’t it Paradise when Summer rain
Its freshness having shared with trees,
Pleads with the Sun to dry up heavy leaves
So that they won’t break under droplets’ weight?

And isn’t it Paradise when Spring’s sweet faun,
Its mother having lost, looks in your eyes,
For mercy begging?

And isn’t it Paradise when Autumn’s leaves,
Dress up in colors borrowed from Gold
To grace your dreams in dreary Winter’s nights?
Or when the Ocean laps at your feet
And feels you soul with peace
But leaves the foam fizzing on the sand
Reminding you of humans’ mortal fate?

Oh, Earth, will you forgive the one
Who of your beauty did deprive myself
When solitude became my closest friend?
I knew not then that I’d be coming back
To your embrace, to dwell in Paradise a little longer.

The Thunder woke up and bolts of lightning
It joggles up and drops them from the sky
To scare mortals hiding from the storm.
Behold its strength, its valiance, its glory,
Its passion’s rage, just like in good old days.

The Rain sheds tears on pathetic shadow,
The remnant of myself.
It may recall together how we wept,
Just like in good old days,
When I was in this World,
And all’s just like it was, except…
Except for me, oh, God,
The one who passed away!

By Liana Margiva

Translated from Russian by Anatol Kardiukov