A poem about an experience of weakness during a dialogue about communication between men and women

A REFLECTION
ON AN EXPERIENCE OF WEAKNESS

It happened last year but it will remain with me
forever
And it has relevance today to the Family Law Bill
The setting, an ecumenical meeting
The subject, theology of sexuality
The centre, the one conceived, built and used
by Melbourne's Catholics
a living memorial to them
called the Diocesan Centre

Everything is grey
grey walls, grey carpet, grey food
grey gloom
where is the light that we are supposed to shine?
surely it should be reflected in our buildings?
could it be that this terrible greyness
dripping water overhead
encased by walls
flat, low to the ground
is the expression to day's faith

yesterday's memorial towers alongside
grey, yes
but beautiful spires reach into the sky
dwarfing the building at its side -
in those days, perhaps they knew
that one had to reach for visions,
at the same time making sure
that they had bluestone foundation underneath
to keep the structure intact

but those days are not our days -
our days are days of great change
and perhaps we know, today
how small we are
how grey we are
how insignificant we are
without God
it is gloom without God
And out of the gloom came people to shed light
their light made brighter by the gloom
they came to shed light on the theology of sexuality

A woman shone in the darkness
to make clear that there is a revolution among women
they have a choice now on the biological level
that will never be taken away from them
they have a choice now on the professional level
that will never be taken away from them
and on the spiritual level this woman made clear
that love has been taken out of the act of sexuality
of intercourse

it was a man who talked about
fidelity
Such an old fashioned word
fidelity -
to be faithful -
(the catchword today is to be fully involved
without commitment
commitment precedes fidelity -
it is impossible to be faithful
without commitment
I had commitment to add to fidelity)

And I was to respond
but I was passed over
No time for a response
in the gloom of grey

I wanted to say
that to stay together for life
as one
was impossible
without help

It came out garbled as a question
and then I dried up in the grey
in the gloom
No words came out of me

But I did manage to say
surely there must be a commitment
a commitment
to communicate
and the man said .. but how?


And there was silence
in the gloom
there was silence
unbroken
a question unanswered

Love taken out of intercourse
biologically
a terrible choice open to all
and no one knowing how to
communicate

For to communicate
is the tangible beginning of loving
if the intention is there
as the unseen, untouchable
first beginning

And I know that there is much that is
known
about communicating
today
Hard won knowledge

that has been hewn
from life
with tears
and sweat
and pain

This knowledge is your birthright
It has only to be taught
to those who intend
to love

It has been available
in most Western countries
and goes under the name of
Family Life Education
the art of communicating love

We may not always be able to put into
practice
this knowledge
for we are frail and human

But it is there to draw on
It is our birthright
and it should be added to our laws
that if you want this knowledge
you can have it for the asking

The rest is up to you
Family Life Education
balances the scales
in the Family Law bill
where there is no fault divorce
(fourteen years ago - and the beginning of the ecumenical journey, with the woman somehow lost along the way - and quite old now, losing her way with the Dead Sea Scrolls. The man who spoke was celibate - and I did not make myself clear that night so long ago.)