Photgraph of me holding Elizabeth almost 31 years ago!
Thank you all for your overpouring of love and support, your prayers and encouragement with the recent tradgedy that occurred in my family. My daughter is OK, and she and her family have just recently moved into their new home.
We are still not convinced her reactions to her prescribed medication caused her to "cross the line" and overdose, or whether she just crossed it???
How do you ever really know?
I wrote this after the fact.
... to capture the depth of anguish is impossible to put in words!
While my daughter was on the ventilator, not breathing on her own...my husband was home trying to revamp and fell asleep for about 10 minutes. In those short minutes he dreamed that he was holding a pill bottle and just like the little particles that floated in the air in Willy-Wonkas, "Wonka-vision...", so were the pills coming out of my daughters mouth back into the bottle...and she woke up the same time he did!
I call it "Divine Intervention!"
My heavy head My heart’s outweighing Cold wet tears Cupped in dreading
Onto, And at the same time, Praying to, swaying fro. . . "Am I talking to myself?"
Oh! Please, wake up! Life is already too short for ending! Rendering, Our spirits talked. . .
As my other part of me Dreamed it all away! "What can I say?" . . .And you woke up!
I was hugging you . . .And you spoke! Asking, "Could I have a glass of water, mom?"
I didn’t have the heart offering my cup of tears I didn’t have the courage to yell! I didn’t have the well. . .
Nor the will to understand? "Get your head out of the sand!" It was heavy . . .And someone must levee!
"There I go again, talking to myself . . ." ...And the tears still fall. Rase in my face! Death was escaped!
"Until. . .?"
Copyright August 2007 Kimmy Van Kooten
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Reviews of "Sipped With Tears"
Reviewed by Robert Harrison (Reader)
Reviewed on August 18, 2007
It is good to be back among so gifted a people as you have shown yourself to be.
In grateful thanks for such a fine piece of writing.
Robert
Reviewed by Chris Fitzgerald (Reader)
Reviewed on August 14, 2007
Kimmy... I can now bring myself to read your wonderful write!! I cried and I smiled..We need adversity in our lives in order to truly know we are blessed. Faith, prayers and acceptance of His will are what we have, lean on them. I love you and Pray for you and Liz.
Love Chrissy
Reviewed by Flying Fox Ted L Glines (Reader)
Reviewed on August 8, 2007
Oh Kimmers, that "until" is deadly. Beautifully written. Wonderfully expressed. And the pain washes over it like water dribbles over a levee. Prayers to you and her.
The power of prayer is amazing Kimmy, for you and your family may the added power of understanding and healing see you through this time...
peace and blessings, Carole~
Reviewed by Tamara Perlin (Reader)
Reviewed on August 5, 2007
Mom~ This is a write you never wished for (you are undeserving) and I know it wasn't easy, but hopefully each word helped you to realease even a lil' pain. I know this has affected you moreso than others, but this has come as a surprise to us all. I never thought to see my big sister that way. She always seems so strong, even in all her struggles, which are more than one woman should carry.
The reviews are overwhelming with concern and support. I see why you spend so much time here in Your Den! What wonderful friends! Thank you, All!!!
I know you will get through this, she will too. Never acting like it never happend, I think it's important she knows how we feel. I love you, and I will always be her for you. XoXo, Mara
No Kimmy, not until. We must be positive and strong for those around us. Maybe your daughter overdosed, thinking she hadn't taken her medication yet. Maybe. But whatever the reason, God saw fit to restore her to you and her family. And you spoke so well about when the bits of the pills floated back into the bottle, she woke up the same time your husband did. I would definitely call that divine intervention. Looking at Elizabeth's baby picture here, I can see why God had sent her back to you. She was beautiful then and in His eyes is still beautiful. I am hoping that she has seen the anguish she caused and will go on living, so that she can have a full life with her family, children, and grandchildren.
This made my heart sad knowing she took the pills, but it also made my heart glad too knowing she is all right. Thank you for sharing this deepest part of your heart and soul Kimmy.
May the Lord Jesus bless you, your husband, daughter and her family, andmay your entire family know the joy that is in the Lord Jesus. May the Lord Jesus be with you always, and with your daughter and her family, and may He be with you side by side so you do not stumble or stub your toe. May He grant you peace in your heart, and let your rest after this very harrowing ordeal. Amen. With much love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your den sister, Barbie
Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson (Reader)
Reviewed on August 4, 2007
I hope your daughter can come to the conclusion
that there are many things to live for.
Very moving...I hope the very best for you and family,
Ron
Cherish the moment! Put it in a vault, not let it go!
Kimmy, you are holding "the one that go away" I don't envy you I am rejoysing with you because the little golden dragon will be hungry today.
Bless you, her and your family for be that stronger.
Georg
So glad that your daughter is okay and though maybe still facing a long hard road, she will know that you are there to lean on and maybe the poem will show her how much you are hurting.
Fee
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader)
Reviewed on August 3, 2007
I hope everything gets better for you,Hugsssssssss
Kimmy,
I have no special words to help, but will pray your daughter and all of your family. She is not beyond God's help, and I will pray that she will open her heart to Him. I know He will gently lead her and fill her every need through Jesus.
Your struggles are memorable of my own with my children Kimmy. No one can really understand these things except when they strike in ones own camp. God has a plan for your daughters life. Blessings ...
With love and respect ...
Richard
Kimmy,
I am glad your daughter is okay. The power of prayer is a wonderful tool and I have relied on it through many difficult times in my own life.
This is a moving poem and proves that writing is, indeed, a fine way of releasing the emotions so that others can be moved by them, as well.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Jill
Moving work, Kimmy. Having lost both my mother and sister to suicide, I hate to see ANYONE go through what you've survived. I hope everything works out and she gets help.
Reviewed by Victor Buhagiar (Reader)
Reviewed on August 3, 2007
Glad your daughter is now better. Yes, I believe in Divine intervention. May God keep his blessings over you all. Victor
Oh Kimmy, I am so sorry for all that you, your daughter and your family has gone through. I am happy to hear your daughter is better and am sure that the power of prayer has helped. Devine intervention lyou say? Believe it, God was watching over all of you. Am happy God led all of you from the darkness. You have expressed yourself well in this piece.....
Extremely well written. Pain can become something you think you cannot withstand. Isn't it wonderful, though that we can vent our emotions by writing about them?
God Bless you and your family,
Lew
Questions, unquestioned discoveries, and answers in parable and rhyme…. This collection records a journey starting with a 1960s retrospective and the first man on the moon, moving to a new millennium welcomed in with a terrorist spin, family crises,
In grateful thanks for such a fine piece of writing.
Robert
Love Chrissy
Ted
Love and Prayer can move mountains. Blessings Always, Paul.
peace and blessings, Carole~
The reviews are overwhelming with concern and support. I see why you spend so much time here in Your Den! What wonderful friends! Thank you, All!!!
I know you will get through this, she will too. Never acting like it never happend, I think it's important she knows how we feel. I love you, and I will always be her for you. XoXo, Mara
This made my heart sad knowing she took the pills, but it also made my heart glad too knowing she is all right. Thank you for sharing this deepest part of your heart and soul Kimmy.
May the Lord Jesus bless you, your husband, daughter and her family, andmay your entire family know the joy that is in the Lord Jesus. May the Lord Jesus be with you always, and with your daughter and her family, and may He be with you side by side so you do not stumble or stub your toe. May He grant you peace in your heart, and let your rest after this very harrowing ordeal. Amen. With much love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your den sister, Barbie
that there are many things to live for.
Very moving...I hope the very best for you and family,
Ron
You and your family are in my prayers sis!!
Love Tinka
(((HUGS))) love and prayer: a cathartic release of pain, sipped with tears. God bless you and your family.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Blessings,
George
Kimmy, you are holding "the one that go away" I don't envy you I am rejoysing with you because the little golden dragon will be hungry today.
Bless you, her and your family for be that stronger.
Georg
Fee
I have no special words to help, but will pray your daughter and all of your family. She is not beyond God's help, and I will pray that she will open her heart to Him. I know He will gently lead her and fill her every need through Jesus.
Love,
Connie
With love and respect ...
Richard
I am glad your daughter is okay. The power of prayer is a wonderful tool and I have relied on it through many difficult times in my own life.
This is a moving poem and proves that writing is, indeed, a fine way of releasing the emotions so that others can be moved by them, as well.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Jill
Be safe,
Karen
God Bless you and your family,
Lew