She contemplated his reason for
continuing their relationship
as well as pondering her own

She couldn't help but question
his motives,since he seemed to take
too lightly, her being 12 yrs older

He simply said he always liked older
women,but he was mid-fifties while
she was now a senior,and it troubled her

In appearance, age had been kind to her
but in subtle ways it showed, and it was
definitely felt 

She loved him unconditionally,and knew
it was forever, but he didn't use the love
word since he wasn't sure what it meant

However, he assured her he was completely
satisfied and happy with her in every way
which  in his opinion could be love

He was a procrastinator which added to her
unease,since he would often be late ,or worse not show up,and act indifferent about it

This made his motives suspect in her opinion
yet he made light of it saying that was just his way,and she should learn to accept it

She could not stop questioning his motives
since he was a very moody and often aloof
person who expected a lot of understanding
without explanation

She knew it wasn't money,she had little of it
and there was no reason  she could find for
not trusting him,it was just a nagging suspicion

She knew motives were a need or desire to act with a myriad of reasons that prompted them and wondered why she couldn't come up with at least one, so she let  it became lost in the wind

(still she knew there had to be a motive)

etw-2008