There were lines on my wall
dark on whitewash
places of a summer within,
with the mesmerizing call of the sea
Imperceptible movement
wind, words, shutters
their shadows the lines on a page
where whispers could rest
Then I thought of what could break
the dream of forever dreaming
the cycle that never ends --
then
I thought
imagined
saw
what could have been
what could have been written
between the lines
Begonias, bougainvillea
there were reds and a deep mauve
balconies open to receive
My sun kissed hands
my chin and breathing skin
ready to ask, turned to the sky
And then I fought
the shadows on the white wall
where the colors disappeared --
and fought
imagined
felt
what they could have done
what they could have revealed
the light that comes
through the lines of my darkness,
of my darkest dreams
Veiled or laid bare
washed
forgotten
faded
still, accepted somehow
the broken dreams,
the segments, symptoms
endless ribbon-like chimera;
those true shadows of reality.
how many people have heard mesmerising call of the sea??!! how many people have lived in the dream of forever dreaming??!! how many people's balconies open on the knocking of subtle fragrances of flowers??!! I'm glad you are still willing to hold onto the dreams, no matter if they are broken. Whether they are shadows of reality or whether reality is shadow of dreams, will always be arguable though.
Reviewed by Holly Ibbitson (Reader)
Reviewed on March 2, 2010
Oh my goodness, how refeshing to read you once again! Blessings, Holly
The powerful imagery and the symbols used throughout your most meaningful poem serve to enhance the reader's experience, Axilea. Thank you for sharing this gift. Love and best wishes,
Fabulous title which amplifies the content and meaning of your poem wonderfully. I would have loved to have written this, Axilea: it's just my sort of intellectual and emotional territory - or at least, very similar to the ways in which my mind works, though my modes of expression may be different. I love that you use such clarity of form and diction to give character to your wall's shadows... all that they say and all that they omit. Although you work with abstracts of thought, your clear-eyed focus and precision of expression resonates. You are a very visual artist. xx
Ahh, alliteration! I fell into it and almost drowned, but you brought me back up with that last word, that somehow rounded out the poem with the exact right number of syllables and sounds.
I also liked the reoccurring one-word passages by threes that each gave new insight. They made me focus on the words rather than the imagery-- an odd consequence that turned out to my phoneme-savoring favor.
But most of all, I love the subject matter. specific wording in the last bit leads me to think of DNA strands and segments strewn around-- living creatures in your mind that will out eventually. I bet they're beautiful. --Charlie
You lose and find yourself eloquently, intelligently, deeply, Axilea,
through a sustained motif, the black and white of memory and then the colours of renewal, progress and acceptance.
A way to use your mind for silent communication. Speaking about the methods in the book I have used since a young age.
21st Century learning. I also have a GoFundMe page to ask for funds so I can research with other people and add their experiences
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I like the never-changing sense of possibilities here. And reality, always looming. Great flow, too.
Sheila
Ron
Regis
I also liked the reoccurring one-word passages by threes that each gave new insight. They made me focus on the words rather than the imagery-- an odd consequence that turned out to my phoneme-savoring favor.
But most of all, I love the subject matter. specific wording in the last bit leads me to think of DNA strands and segments strewn around-- living creatures in your mind that will out eventually. I bet they're beautiful. --Charlie
Nicely done.
Peace, love, and light,
Amber "V"
through a sustained motif, the black and white of memory and then the colours of renewal, progress and acceptance.
John