I say it's an affair, you say I'm crazy, …
But it's you, me, and your lady liquor in this relationship.
My heart breaks when you don't answer the phone; I know you're with her, even though I try to tell myself it's all in my head.
I wait for your call, my heart racing with anticipation, but hours pass and still you're nowhere to be found. I know when she's touched your lips; she has her grip on you, and she's not letting go.
You won't say where you are or when I can expect you. I never know if you're coming home or staying out all night with her. I can't predict when she is on your mind.
I hear her in your voice when you talk. I hear the lies and secrets in every word you say and the ones you don’t, the way her presence seeps into your pores like a slow-moving fog. I'm left wondering when you'll come home, wondering if she's the reason why you're late again.
I never know when you're going to be with her, but I know when you are, I can't trust a word you say...your no longer mine, but lady liquor's man. She takes your time and money, and I get her leftovers. I never know how much you're going to spend on her. If she gets the best of you, and I get the rest of you.
You depend on your lady liquor to give you what I can't. You turn to her for fulfillment, a mask of happiness and a momentary escape from our reality. You look to her for validation, for a sense of belonging that I can't provide. And I'm left to pick up the pieces of our shattered love, wondering if she is the third wheel, or am I?
I smell her on you when you come home. Taste her on your lips. I feel her in our bed between us as she seems to drench our sheets. I don't know if she's going to leave you angry, and I catch the fallout...or if she sends you home with a smile that leaves you resentful of me… because I'm the one who feels deceived, hurt, and betrayed.
I tried to deny what is happening, but I feel the distance between you and me as she sits between us. I'm not sure if it's you or me who's in denial, but I know when you've been with her. I can't ask you to choose between me or her because I'm afraid I'd lose.
So, tell me how it's not an affair...I'm the one who's crazy?
That's the first time I've seen alcohol personified as a woman having an affair with a man who is married. But it makes a lot of sense so it's a very good comparison.
I'm not a counselor and have had very little exposure to alcoholism except knowing a few people who have suffered from it.
I have noticed, like smoking, that drinking alcohol, when recognized by the person who is doing it as harmful, will be stopped. Sometimes it takes health issues for it to happen. And sometimes it takes being down and out.
From what you have written, loving an alcoholic can be very trying, but love that is codependent can't heal. If he feels that he will lose you to lady alcohol he may decide to stop her affections for yours.
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I'm not a counselor and have had very little exposure to alcoholism except knowing a few people who have suffered from it.
I have noticed, like smoking, that drinking alcohol, when recognized by the person who is doing it as harmful, will be stopped. Sometimes it takes health issues for it to happen. And sometimes it takes being down and out.
From what you have written, loving an alcoholic can be very trying, but love that is codependent can't heal. If he feels that he will lose you to lady alcohol he may decide to stop her affections for yours.
Ron