Do you remember me? In the dark nevermore to which our failure relegated you, do you rearrange endlessly broken pieces of your imprisoned reality, only wanting to be mine?
How I remember you over and over again, in dreams asleep and waking, I trace my soul along the empty forever, as a blind woman moves her hands over the face of a beloved, to recapture yours –
My missing issue of love. Never born, conceived only in ache of my dark heart, your song rings clear in these last days and I buckle beneath the grief of never rocking you to sleep, little angel mine.
What have we done? And who but I will hold a candle for your not-yet memory? I move because your screams echo out of the depths from which I know you were meant to be born. I guard this not-lived legacy, yours.
Your brother, my heart’s treasure – I believe he glimpses you there, golden hair, crystal-star heart, tears and all. Come forth! We all want to remedy our grave error; faith wavers. Grief unspeakable, mine.
Much as I will never know the joy of wrapping your tiny fingers round my own, you will not be bathed in the waters of this life. Nor will you run through wildflower fields, laughing. Echoes of the void, yours.
Forgive me, child. I have loved you and always will.
Dawn, you have espressed what many can only feel in their souls and can't put to paper because they drown in the depth of their grief. You should seek to publish this write...
Everyone here speaks true, Dawn. You have embodied that sense of grief and loss to the epitome so that each one of us can feel, relate, accept your authority on the matter as if we were all living this devastating experience again and together. I can scarcely believe that you have done this from imagination and empathy alone. It covers just every aspect of such pain - however we relate it, male, female, metaphorically or for real. This is poetry of the highest order and is subesquently one of the most gifted pieces of writing I have read. Bless you and thank you. Yours is surely a talent that is unique and richly endowed. Kate xx
what makes a poet a poet is his/her ability to assimulate into life experience of every nature ... we explore the emotional landscape as well as the external conditions surrounding us ... sometimes we speak from personal experience and sometimes speak of experience personally ... and if we are truely successful, we create a poem that embodies the nature of our being as well as the human condition ... you have succeeded in doing so very effectively ...
Dawn, the depth you reach in poetry is always astonishing. You shouldn't have to post explanations. We are here to read poetry of all kinds and should learn by now, that it isn't all about the poet in every aspect. This poem is a very intense well done emotional piece of work, because you have had similar feelings. That says it all.
This is shattering--emotional. Even though you have never carried a child and lost it, it spoke volumes to many that have--including me. I pray you never experience that grief--
one of these days I'm going to learn to post a little note with each poem I write. I wrote this from the imagination, but with the vivid image of a child I've always felt I was meant to have but who was never conceived at all due to life circumstances. So, to my knowledge, I never carried a child and lost it. I have not known that grief and certainly did not intend to make light of it. Rather, this poem flowed from a grief of opportunity lost. Sorry for any confusion and deeply sorry for those of you who have conceived a child in more than just the heart or imagination and lost that child. Peace, Dawn
Exquisitely painful but breathtakingly poignant and lovely. As I know you know -- I am familiar with these feelings as well. These feelings of grief have haunted me for over 24 years now, plus all too recently -- that brand-new gaping hole (or "open wound") was unceremoniously piled on top of it ... It is so difficult to express the feelings that this type of sadness can bring. (Especially while being bombarded by the "Mother's Day" marketing onslaught that nearly all retail stores and their ad executives tend to start *far* too soon for my comfort. Yours too, I'm guessing?) These feelings run the gamut -- but only the "darker" side of said gamut. Sometimes I have wondered if I would ever feel whole again, or ever TRULY smile again -- instead of merely forcing to keep up this horrible "plastic public persona" that I present to the world -- even to those closest to me. It all began (and torturously continued) 24 years ago, with me in no rush to honestly brave "dealing" with it, and -- now, there is more to add, and more to "deal" with, as best I can. We cannot "make" others truly experience anywhere near even HALF of what we have experienced. Only those who have also "been there," regardless of the specifics pertaining to how we arrived in this suffocating space, can honestly empathize.
This is where, and why, I do know, Dawn. Much more than I wish I did, and much more than I wish either of us did. And although I have been quite physically ill lately (and emotionally exhausted, which makes sense to me, as I believe that my physical health is tied to my emotional health), and although I have not been posting much here on A.D., neither any of my work nor many comments to others, you have never strayed far from my mind, my friend. You are a special person, and so I send special, healing, comforting and positive thoughts to you now -- as always, but with considerably more intensity. "Bön på hela envar hjärta också bättre kroppslig värk." (Please excuse my severely rusty Swedish, and [basically] KNOW that I am praying for you -- and everyone who has experienced the pain surrounding it -- as well as sending positive, healing energy.)
Please feel free to write to me -- any time at all! You have my phone number, do you not? If not, let me know and I'll get it to you, or I'll phone you, if you're up to talking and if you give me the go-ahead (your phone number would help tremendously as well! *wink*).
Hang in there, sis! You are definitely NOT alone in any of this! I am holding your hand even now, both metaphorically AND in spirit. That is a promise -- sent with much love to my VERY dear friend!
Dawn, oh my gosh. This breaks my heart, moving me beyond words. I'm so sorry for your loss. I too have lost. May your life be filled with many blessings...Michelle
Reviewed by Peter Gardner (Reader)
Reviewed on May 5, 2005
This is a beautiful eology for a lost child. I know the feeling. Elegant and quite sad.
A people’s heart can be found in their poetic words. In history men and women have stood firmly upon their soapboxes and street corners, rallying the deepest beliefs of people to rise up and be heard. The poetrypages.com has offered that voice a new
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This is shattering--emotional. Even though you have never carried a child and lost it, it spoke volumes to many that have--including me. I pray you never experience that grief--
(((HUGS)))) and love, Karla. :( *tears*
This is where, and why, I do know, Dawn. Much more than I wish I did, and much more than I wish either of us did. And although I have been quite physically ill lately (and emotionally exhausted, which makes sense to me, as I believe that my physical health is tied to my emotional health), and although I have not been posting much here on A.D., neither any of my work nor many comments to others, you have never strayed far from my mind, my friend. You are a special person, and so I send special, healing, comforting and positive thoughts to you now -- as always, but with considerably more intensity. "Bön på hela envar hjärta också bättre kroppslig värk." (Please excuse my severely rusty Swedish, and [basically] KNOW that I am praying for you -- and everyone who has experienced the pain surrounding it -- as well as sending positive, healing energy.)
Please feel free to write to me -- any time at all! You have my phone number, do you not? If not, let me know and I'll get it to you, or I'll phone you, if you're up to talking and if you give me the go-ahead (your phone number would help tremendously as well! *wink*).
Hang in there, sis! You are definitely NOT alone in any of this! I am holding your hand even now, both metaphorically AND in spirit. That is a promise -- sent with much love to my VERY dear friend!
Luv ya and
~Namaste~
Sharon
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :( >tears <