A little explanation for those who want it: Ten years ago, I was just beginning to feel the light of the sun in my life after many storms and shadows. In need of rest, I returned to the sea. Oddly, I felt it best to go alone. It turned out to be a very spiritual experience, though the foreshadowing of a deeper dark ahead seemed only like a drowning with God as witness to it all. Indeed, though everything had seemed wonderful and on its way toward right in my life, within the space of three years, it would be swept away and I cast away, flung far from hope and understanding nothing of the reasons why. Eventually, on my better days, I learned to heed the wisdom I first heard this week 10 years ago today: "Let it go and let it be." So now, with new trials and sun-filled days few and far between, I see that I am stronger and softer and free to choose the direction I will take. I am grateful for the sea and how she speaks to me and for you who share the journey with me! Dawn

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Because I was tired and wanted to breathe
something other than endless pain,
I sought out her company.

I went alone. Though there was nobody left
to go with me to the sea, it was better
that I went alone, and free.

For three days straight I pulled up a chair
and pretended to read as her waves
worked their healing grace,

enchanting and embracing me with
the love I wished for, telling tall
tales of things to come.

Her mother love saw through my body,
oyster-like, stiff in white sand; yet, she
spoke as if I were a shiny pearl.

Knowing the trials yet to come, she sang
of moonless nights and searing days,
of unanswered cries of mine.

"The sun you love," she said, "will beat down
upon you, and you will grieve the loss
of your beloved companion.

A million miles and the devil’s lies
will stand between you and what
was meant to be.

Let it be as it will be. Let it go, child. Let
it be." She surged across the sand to kiss
me, then made her quick retreat.

Ten years ago today the first tear fell
as I knew at once you, my sun,
would not quench my thirst

For our blessed union, would choose
to scorch me as punishment
for remembering

What you only wanted us both to forget.
In my depths, I let you go and
loved you all the more.

My shell has cracked and, still, I lay
unnoticed in the sand. But time
and trials have birthed me

And love of you has birthed in me
this strong center. Softer around
the edges, I rise and

Encircle all that was and is. Then,
like a prodigal daughter I roll
home to the pearly sea.