unrehearsed
eyes roll
around
and I know all
you think of me
in silence
as I
vacantly stare
at tears of glass
so many cuts
for one
once reigned upon.
off stage
forget-me-knots
sit upon
a tables end
shattered
and evasive
wilting
while curtains
without sound
become ruffled
shadows of broken light.
expecting me
to kneel
wishing I might
in my prayers
enough
be centered
to pull
right and left
wing together
so that I could fly
finding myself
hanging
in heaven.
the down stages
you pushed me to
before all
while your audience
applauded
at my back with laughter
and you
so up
staging every move
to block my heart
now over
the edge
no longer wanting
to remember
there are no words
but only fade
to blackout.
with no direction
you cross
always telling
me to leave
for the last time
I felt it was
not right
and when I chose to make
a final exit
there were no more
stages left.
An excellent title for a poem that is full of surprises and layers.
Great rhythm. I love the first stanza, and so many lines in this,
such as:
"there are no words
but only fade
to blackout"
Excellent write John
I truly enjoy your style of poetry
like poetry should be written
Peace be with you
William
Reviewed by Deborah Munson (Reader)
Reviewed on June 14, 2008
Didn't realize it but before I was done your lines turned to a play and I found myself watching as the scenes unfolded and the words disappeared. Well Done! Deborah
Wowie! I saved this poem for last, as I was playing catch up on my reviewing. I couldn't have saved a better poem for my final review of the day!
Your poem is superb! I loved the sustained metaphor throughout... so many little "plays" on words... Just perfection!
Outstanding work John. I look forward to reading more my new friend. The melancholy and bitter sting of love lost rips through the poem like lightning.....Well done!
Another masterpiece John, this had my melancholic heart bleeding tears....you have a way of keeping one's attention as we read and reread every word just to make sure we don't leave anything out. This makes me think of a love gone sour, remember the song "Take a bow" by Madonna featuring Baby face?
FABULOUS work, John. Superb extended metaphor that keeps us hanging on your every word and breathe - like the very best theatre. Such delicate and taut emotion, set out for us with such a fine control and balance. Makes me think of mime, or the poise and grace of ballet. Very Pierrot-esque, too. Such skilled pathos at the end - a very difficult thing to achieve. One of your finest - but then, it's so hard to say! :)) Bless you, Kate xx
you do it again. it's a lost world, misplaced reason and characters that cut one off or seek, pine... good way with words. the connotations or word associations are my favorite
Just as skillfully as the spider spins its web, so have you woven together the words of this poem, making them equally alluring to your audience. And each time the curtain rises for your one-man show, you deliver an award-winning performance. So, step forward and take another bow, John, while your audience bestows their thunderous applause. Oh how beautiful are the words, "...while curtains without sound become ruffled shadows of broken light."
Life's longings and needs...drama brought to the stage...imaginative, and boldly expressed...life's non-scripted acts. Well written, John...sooo enjoyed!
Blessings and Love ~~ Micke
Love's final curtain call. Throughout each crafted act, the bleeding never ceased. With hearts, false love should never play. A masterful write John. Sans, even one misplaced thought. Keep the pen busy while the Muse languishes in your studio. JMW
Wow, you've touched me with this one my friend! The imagery is outstanding and the words you've chosen to beautifully weave this poetic tale are excellent! Well done!
Blessings,
Joyce B.
Deeply moving
Sounds inevitable. . . .
"Wing together
so that I could fly"
Great lines
It's a big sky, brother
With still the possibity to collide!
Doug
Reviewed by ~ Holly Harbridge (Reader)
Reviewed on June 7, 2008
Excellent John....what else can be said...your friend Holly
I see it differently than some, I suppose . . . You gave a premier performance, i.e., stage, theater, whatever, but it was love and lost love at that which captured me . . . So I'm all wet . . . I'll go to Hades believing it . . . LOL
You know, I have been reading you for some time now and as I read this today I felt as though I were seeing 'John' before me... and each word was like a hammer hit to a nail... each word made me listen.. this, my friend, is some powerful writing! Excellent work!
As always, Myrna
Reviewed by Gianetta Ellis (Reader)
Reviewed on June 7, 2008
I think I've finally come to understand why so many of your poems bring me such nostalgia - they are like entering the world of an old classic movie. I felt it especially so with Pall Mall and this one. There's something "misty" with just the right shade of lighting that brings to mind Casablanca or the likes...it must sound crazy. Whatever that "x" factor is, your writing has it. Yes, indeed.
BEAUTIFUL, I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! 'To pull right and left win g together so that I could fly finding myself hanging in heaven'--------VERY TALENTED!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
what a heartfelt poem full of human angst and tears. I feel your
words as they touch the hearts of your readers. Such human feelings
are courage under a tear...keep feeling your words and expressing
them so eloquently! wonderful poem!!
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Great rhythm. I love the first stanza, and so many lines in this,
such as:
"there are no words
but only fade
to blackout"
Axilea
It makes my day to read some of your work.
Harold M. Nash
Regis
I truly enjoy your style of poetry
like poetry should be written
Peace be with you
William
Your poem is superb! I loved the sustained metaphor throughout... so many little "plays" on words... Just perfection!
Your poem is a masterpiece...
Cryssa
Peace,
Bill
Christine
David Lee Thompson
Blessings and Love ~~ Micke
Georg
Blessings,
Joyce B.
John
Sounds inevitable. . . .
"Wing together
so that I could fly"
Great lines
It's a big sky, brother
With still the possibity to collide!
Doug
As always, Myrna
My kind of poem writing. - Gene.
words as they touch the hearts of your readers. Such human feelings
are courage under a tear...keep feeling your words and expressing
them so eloquently! wonderful poem!!