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larry r linville

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Member Since: Aug, 2007

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The Closet
by larry r linville → (All Poetry by larry r linville)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
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This is a true story of an embarrassing moment in my ministry. Really, it is!!!


The sound system was not working
The microphone clung to each word I said
With the strength of super glue.
The lights were not flashing on the soundboard,
A nuclear scientist was not needed to know
electricity was lacking.
A breaker switch in a small room
controlled the current flow.
But who could do this simple task?
Who could I call to flip the switch?
My wife was standing near that door
with two acolytes in place
poised to light the altar candles.
She knew all about the switch.
The worship service was in paralysis.
Everything was stopped.
Without throwing that switch we could not go.
With the greatest of authority
and the meekness as her mate
I posed a question to my bride
in the strangest set of words.
The question was poorly asked --
the words came out all wrong.
The congregation sat and laughed
and then they laughed some more.
I thought they’d never stop
as I stood red-faced
following my famous words,
“Thelma, could you turn me on –
in the closet?”

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 Reviews of "The Closet"
Reviewed by Rose Rideout
Reviewed on September 1, 2007
Larry this too precious, a memory that should never be forgotten, start writting those things down so they can be shared years from now. Loved it , thank you for sharing it with us, now what was her reply to you?
newfie Hugs, Rose

Reviewed by Larry Lounsbury
Reviewed on September 1, 2007
Now that had to be a hoot. Enjoyed that story.

Reviewed by chris stienstra (Reader)
Reviewed on September 1, 2007
I don't think your church memebers have stopped talking about that one yet! Larry, I must say that God had good insight when he chose you to preach and to write poetry. Thank you
Chris

Reviewed on August 31, 2007
That's one way to get the attention of your congregation: AND your wife LOL Let the sparks igNITE! LOL Nice to see I'm not the only one to have foot in mouth disease: I'll tell one on myself, 'k?

Used to be a medic in the USAF, was working on the maternity ward. Had to check the baby's heart rate, using a special stethoscope (put against the mommy's tummy, counted the heartbeats). Taking the pulse rate of the baby is called Fetal Heart Tones. Imagine my embarrassment when I said, "I need to check your Hetal Fart Tones."

Mama got to laughing so hard, she 'bout went into labor. Me, I wanted the floor to just open UP. LOL

Can laugh about it now........

Enjoyed your story; a little self depreciating humor does all of us good (and is entertaining to the rest of us, as well). Well done!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.


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