I found this piece to be soothing, yet frantic, in the language of 'the attic'. Your attic. My attic. Our attic. Very effectual use of phonics, syllables and rhyme timed with self, to my mind.
Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
Reviewed by Gianetta Ellis (Reader)
Reviewed on January 21, 2008
I love the title and the poem gives me chills. Makes me curious to know more, yet something tells me that this is perfectly enough. Sometimes, just a glimpse is all we need.
Carol, I like the format of 4-line stanzas. I don't think you need capital letters at the beginning of each line. I'd like to hear more details: photographs of what? her relatives? Which dreams passed her by? memories of what, specifically? Also, the author's viewpoint: where are you exactly? downstairs in a house? I love your closure, the last two lines. They sound good and paint a picture for me. "mixes metaphors with tears" is excellent, sort of a writer's in-joke! A nice poem, thank you,
Truly a picture is worth -- countless words! They bring to mind forgotten incidents, happy occasions, lost loves....no wonder they bring tears to her eyes and ours.
Well-done!
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In admiration,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
well done Carol...
John
Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
--Kathy Kopp
Allen
Peace,
Dan
Well-done!
Connie
HAUNTING...wondering where those years went off to, to be recalled in old photographs and lines written...well done.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
Metaphorically haunting piece. I often wonder, "Where did all those wonder years go." Peace, Love and Blessings Always, Paul.
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D