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Fritz Barnes

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Member Since: Before 2003

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My Son
by Fritz Barnes → (All Poetry by Fritz Barnes)
  
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My son, I am pregnant!

As you grow inside of me
I dream of happy picnics
Just you, your dad, and me!

My son, I am scared...

Can I be a good mother for you?
With lots of help from daddy, I promise
I'll do the best I can do.

My son, I am happy...

Loving and being loved by
you and your dad,
This is the perfect family
That I never had!

My son, I am terrified...

The Doctor tried all of his tricks
But now he says Daddy will be gone
Long before you turn six.

My son, I am lonely...

Though we fought like children do
I loved your daddy, very much,
And I know that you did, too.

My son, I am failing...

I cannot find a man
Who will take your daddy's place
So I won't have do this alone.
Because I really don't think I can.

My son, I am weak...

Endless days on the couch
Sinking into sadness
And not being here for you.
This must be madness.

My son, I am gone...

Here, but not really here,
I am a carcass of a mother,
Despicable to myself and, surely,
A failure in the eyes of others.

My son, I am desperate...

And I have devised a plan,
I will find you a new mother
And not just a new man.

My son, I am relieved.

A loving family has agreed
That if "God forbid" anything ever happened to me
They would care for you and give you all the love you need.

My son, I am confident...

You will be better off
They will care for you
And raise you, they will be
All that your father would have been
And all that I have failed to be.

My son, I am praying...

That someday as you work this through
You will understand, and forgive me
For what I am about to do.

My son, I am weeping...

Courage from the bottle tonight
For the last time
To help me do what I must do
...for you.

My son, I am bleeding...

(It doesn't hurt anymore, please don't cry.)

Courage or cowardice
Now it doesn't matter
Your new life starts tomorrow
Your new life will be better...

My son... I am resting...

I had nothing left to give
Resting, finally resting...
So that you, my son,
might live.


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 Reviews of "My Son"
Reviewed by Kathy Armijo
Reviewed on January 18, 2008
This poem conjures many, many emotions. I see despair, shame, guilt, love, longing and remorse, all honest emotion when faced with having to go it alone. Whether this be fiction or non-fiction, the story that it tells makes me want to take this child into my arms, always trying to give him what his Mother wanted him to have.

God bless you. Kathy

Reviewed by Lynn Barry
Reviewed on August 6, 2006
The cold hard ironic consequence of this cowardly/courageous act will more than likely be that the son will pine away for his birth mother...
Sorry I never noticed your comment on my site about my adopted daughter until now (under Dumped).
It is important to connect with others who are in these kinds of situations to not feel so alone.
Good read. Well done.

Reviewed by Tami Ryan
Reviewed on March 25, 2006
Whoa. Difficult though it may be to write from another's perspective, you handled this subject quite well. Good work.

Reviewed by Vesna Perkovic (Reader)
Reviewed on February 19, 2005
stunned...


Vesna:)

Reviewed by Melissa Rives
Reviewed on February 17, 2005
A hauntingly powerful piece of writing...wow!

Reviewed by Nordette Adams
Reviewed on February 13, 2005
An exceptionally powerful poem, Fritz. I see you do understand what I mean by writing from the perspective of others. This is poem is true, so true, yet you're not the speaker. You empathized with the speaker whom you may or may not have known personally. Great job, wonderful narrative flow.

Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers
Reviewed on February 9, 2005
This is devastation no matter how you read it. A pure message of excruciating pain.
The stark reality is, it happens daily.
This exhausted me each time I read it..
Excellently penned.

Lisa

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on February 8, 2005
Sadness is sometimes the reality we live in. Poignant write, Fritz. Love and peace. Regis

Reviewed by Carole Mathys
Reviewed on February 8, 2005
A lonely, sad write.....written beautifully...

Reviewed by elois Masters (Reader)
Reviewed on June 3, 2004
wow. that's a dark one. nice.
m.

Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader)
Reviewed on August 27, 2003
Oh!!! Loved that last stanza.....though it was all fantastic....I'll be reading some more of your work....ty, Dani :)

Reviewed by Debra Stiles, The Original Mister (Reader)
Reviewed on August 13, 2003
what a wonderful write and oh so
sad
Mister

Reviewed by Bobbi Duffy
Reviewed on July 24, 2003
A spellbinding piece that bleeds of the inner turmoil of a soul in pain greater than it can bear.
Bobbi

Reviewed by Mary Deal
Reviewed on July 23, 2003
I've read some of your writings. You write about "inner places" few people dare to tread.

Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader)
Reviewed on July 23, 2002
POWERFUL! This one made me weep.

Reviewed by Linda Hill
Reviewed on June 23, 2002
I cried thru this one too! Such powerful emotions...such heartfelt love for her son. You may want to read..I Want To Live...for some reason it reminded me of this poem ..tho they are so different. You are a magnicient writer...will look for your poems from now on.

Reviewed by Bryt Eyz (Reader)
Reviewed on June 19, 2002
I wanted to shout "NO"!! I wanted to stop her. I wanted to... do whatever it is you do in a situation like that. It's never that bad... never! *sigh* Life is what you make of it...and ... and damn! It's only a poem. Problem is, it's life too. *sigh* Thanks once more, for keeping reality real and alive. Hugs, hun. Sorry it's been so long. I've my own reality to deal with at the moment. I'm making the best of it tho, you can be sure! - Hugs and take care, BrytEyz

Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
Reviewed on May 8, 2002
Absolutely beautiful the way you have conveyed despair. I don't think I would change much except the line arrangement. I would group the last a bit differently to match what was above. You have a few extraneous words that break the cadance when read out loud. But it is a beautiful work. ~E

Reviewed by (Reader)
Reviewed on April 29, 2002
Powerful story, and a good reminder for writers and readers alike that the persona is not necessarily the author. Yes, perhaps it could use a few changes and a polish here and there. Is a work of art ever truly finished? Perhaps when it finds completion in another heart and mind...


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