IF I SWEAR
If i call you a bastard
It means i love you
If i say f*** off
It means stay
If i talk from the gutter
it's just my way
I know i knew better
I can't control this wheel
going faster
with nerves of steel
So hard
since losing you
Nothing seems real
Driving through the storm
I got lost in the rain smoke and fog
The city lights burning a hole
in my soul
And you say nothing at all
I despise myself more than you know
Yet the compliments from strangers
Just flow
Inside i feel like a hoe
Because you said i looked like a hooochie
And you looked so smooth with your pooch
who loved me
For whom i was underneath
Not the image i did show
And yet most of my life ive been quirky
conservative and cool as ice
But you melted me in an instant
and it felt so nice
So if I swear im sorry
I didn't mean to call you names
I feel so ashamed
Forgive me
but don.t forget me.
I will always be the same
The girl with sunshine in her smile
And clouds in her head
Thinking she would be
better off dead
But living, no existing
For what she does not know
Perhaps to put on a really
good show.
(c) Andrea Jane Williams 11. Jan. 2008.
(dedicated to Ron Lieberman).
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And clouds in her head
Those verses say a lot; at least I feel they do. An engaging write, Andrea. Thank you for sharing it. Love and peace to you,
Regis
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