Nan is a great, great grandmother from Days of the British Raj. Her mother was called Dopenay, cousin to a Rajah ( Her name means Sunrise)and renamed Jane by her husband Captain George Henry Garstin (Commanding Medical Officer in The British Navy. An officer and a gentleman). She is my Indian Princess, my European guide and I love her and will miss her dearly. I use the present tense as her life is in the balance. The rose "Iceberg" is from my late mother's garden, which she had planted just for me. The first bloom which I had given my idol Alan Merrill. I have since learnt dreams are to be broken as reality is the unspoken truth. My world is very different from that of my friends. There is nothing I can relate to. When East meets West you sometimes do get the best...(con)fusion.

SWEET NAN

Sleep peacefully
the cares of the world
are worn
Just your well-being
is what matters
as the hearts
of your children
are torn

Sween Nan
102 years old
you lie on your
hospital bed
the last rites
having been said
you may be gone
by the morn

12-24 hours
to determine
if you should live
or the angels
to deliver you
to our Maker

Our Lord who
Art in Heaven
our lives are His
to take or give

And as the final
countdown begins
And the Lord
Our Father
Forgives our sins

I wonder at
the point of it all

If Life has any
meaning
any hereafter
should I hedge
my bets
or make a call

If only there
was a sign
one moment
in time
to appease
my doubting mind

My Mother and Father
have gone before me
My grandfather
Baby brothers
Uncle and Aunty..

For whom the
Bells Toll?

The lost souls.

Seems the
Grim Reaper
is on a roll

And no matter
who is beside me
I walk alone
As they lay
Yet another stone

Father forgive me
For my sin
but I just can't see
the point in 'being!'

(c) Andrea Jane Mary Bernadette Williams
20th September 2003