Maudlin Kind of Day (poem) by Mark M Lichterman on AuthorsDen

Maudlin Kind of Day
by Mark M Lichterman → (All Poetry by Mark M Lichterman)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Kind of a maudlin kind of a day today. Though the sky is blue and temperature hovers into high sixties to low seventies along with a slight though cool breeze. Today, though having no knowledge why, though feeling well I find thoughts causing a slight watering to my eyes and a slight flutter to the area of my heart as... Thoughts of one gone these past near six years and though the last years of our lives were of anger and pain and hatred and illness and though the death of my wife was met, yes... The death of my wife was met with tears and relief along with more than a bit of sorrow for what should have been for what could have been. Sadly... In honesty the death of my wife was met, at least by me, with a little more joy than sorrow because, yes, she was out of pain and because, yes... Because there was more hatred than love because, yes, beyond my care beyond what I could do for her because... From her point of view I never did enough. Because... From my point of view I could never do enough. Because she was in a place hated, hated with all her heart. Rationalizing... Rationalizing the death of Maxine for her... Rationalizing the death of Maxine I thought for her death is good. For me, rationalizing... Was I wrong? Am I wrong for wanting my life to go on? Am I wrong for wanting to love again? Am I wrong for wanting the speeding moments, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years to go by without loving again? There was a time... there was a time so many years ago it seems the life of two other people there was a time we vowed everlasting love. There was a time... there was a time so many years ago it seems the life of two other people that we lovingly argued she or me could not live, would not wish to live were one or the other to die. How wrong! How wrong because when she was gone I felt a bit happier than sad because my life was mine again. Mine to find love again. and yet... Kind of a maudlin kind of a day today. Though the sky is blue and temperature hovers into high sixties to low seventies along with a slight though cool breeze. Today, though having no knowledge why, though feeling well I find thoughts causing a slight watering to my eyes and a slight flutter to the area of my heart because... Because I do miss the love I once had.

Reviewed by Patrick Granfors

Reviewed on May 12, 2010

There is a huge difference between relief and happiness and guilt. It seem as though you are on the path to life...that is your own as it must be. Patrick

Reviewed by Carole Mathys

I understand your feelings in this poem Mark, relationships are complicated especially when the dreams dissolve in the reality of day to day living...but life does go on and so does out need for companionship...well done!

Carole~

Reviewed by Georg Mateos

When I heard about being married fifty years and never had a disagreement it make me think that I am living on the wrong planet.
Yes, perfection should be left for the philosophers to wonder about, the rest of us are conditioned to follow "the life must go on" after the love-hatred relationship came to an end by death or divorce.
But we will have the scars.

Georg

Reviewed by Chessly Nesci

Reviewed on May 11, 2010

Mark, This poem tugs at my heart. No marriage is perfect and we all have good days and bad. We also have days we feel very sad. You didn't want your wife to suffer anymore and she knew that. That doesn't make you a bad person. It is extremely difficult to see someone you care about get sick.She knows you missed the love you once had. Sometimes we don't realize just how much we loved until they are gone. She would want you to be happy and feel love again. We only get old when we stop living. Love, and peace always! Your friend, ~Chessly