Cathartic? Not Really. (poem) by Mark M Lichterman on AuthorsDen

Cathartic? Not Really.
by Mark M Lichterman → (All Poetry by Mark M Lichterman)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Kind of a maudlin kind of a day today. Though the sky is blue and temperature hovers into high sixties to low seventies along with a slight though cool breeze. Today, though having no knowledge why, though feeling well I find thoughts causing a slight watering to my eyes and a slight flutter to the area of my heart as... Thoughts of one gone these past near six years and though the last years of our lives were of anger and pain and hatred and illness and though the death of my wife was met, yes... The death of my wife was met with tears and relief along with more than a bit of sorrow for what should have been for what could have been. Sadly... In honesty the death of my wife was met, at least by me, with a little more joy than sorrow because, yes, she was out of pain and because, yes... Because there was more hatred than love because, yes, beyond my care beyond what I could do for her because... From her point of view I never did enough. Because... From my point of view I could never do enough. Because she was in a place hated, hated with all her heart. Rationalizing... Rationalizing the death of Maxine for her... Rationalizing the death of Maxine I thought for her death is good. For me, rationalizing... Was I wrong? Am I wrong for wanting my life to go on? Am I wrong for wanting to love again? Am I wrong for wanting the speeding moments, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years to go by without loving again? There was a time... there was a time so many years ago it seems the life of two other people there was a time we vowed everlasting love. There was a time... there was a time so many years ago it seems the life of two other people that we lovingly argued she or me could not live, would not wish to live were one or the other to die. How wrong! How wrong because when she was gone I felt a bit happier than sad because my life was mine again. Mine to find love again. and yet... Kind of a maudlin kind of a day today. Though the sky is blue and temperature hovers into high sixties to low seventies along with a slight though cool breeze. Today, though having no knowledge why, though feeling well I find thoughts causing a slight watering to my eyes and a slight flutter to the area of my heart because... Because I do miss the love I once had.

Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo

Reviewed on May 12, 2010

How can you help but have these feelings considering all the emotional ups and downs you've spoken of in this poem? I am sorry for your watering eyes, Mark, and hope you are feeling better. It's perfectly normal, albeit difficult, to go through periods like this. I know it will get better. Your friend, Lizzie

Reviewed by Karen Palumbo

Reviewed on May 11, 2010

Such truth worthy words that speaks to so many yet I can sense the lingering heartache that still is there lurking leaving you to ponder of what could have been...

Be always safe,
Karen

Reviewed by Sandie May Joyce (Sandie Angel)

When we love someone enough to be married with it's for both good times and bad. Some of the ill temperament are from the result of the medication that your wife was taking. I think you know deep down within both your heart and her heart there was always a space filled with love, and that is why you are missing her and feeling sad.

I know a couple that fought like cats and dogs, because the wife was sick with arthritis, or rheumatism (painful swelling of the joints) and she had been on medication ever since she was in her young age after she got married. Their marriages consisted of daily arguing and fighting. But once the wife was gone, the husband actually missed her, even missed those times when they were fighting.

I think love comes in many forms.

This is good write, for you wrote this from your heart.

Sandie Angel :o)