My Son

On this day

My son

From fifty-six years past

To this day

The years

The months

The weeks and the days

Are as a blur in time

Are as the blink of an eye

Are as the snap of fingers

And yet…

And yet the life we shared

From this birthday forward

From fifty-six years past

Till the time

You no longer were in my care

This time

From this birthday forward is

In memory

As though from another life

Though…

Though the time we shared

My son

This time

The time we shared

From fifty-six years past

Is as the blink of an eye

Yet this time

From the day of your birth

Till you no longer were in my care

This time though…

This time though

As the snap of fingers

As the blink of an eye

This time in memory

Seems that of another life

This time in memory

Seems that of another lifetime

This time in memory seems

Lived by one other than myself

Yet…

Yet

So vividly I remember

The first sight of you

My first born child

Covered in swaddling

When all visible

Was your newly born face

How so overcome with joy

How so overcome with love

That I remember tears falling

That I remember…

That I remember

My face to the glass that separated us

With both hands to the sides of my face

Hiding the tears caused by my love

Hiding the tears caused by my joy.

And yet…

And yet

At this time also

My son,

At this time also

Barely out of boyhood

Barely a man myself

Beyond the love I felt for you

Other emotions emerged 

One…

One

The unbelievable wonderment that I

That I

Barely out of boyhood

Barely a man myself

That I was a father

That I had actually been fundamental

In the birth of the life

That lay swaddled

On the other side of

This glass that separated you and me

Two…

Two

That I was now responsible

Not only for the life of you

My son

But I

Barely out of boyhood

Barely a man myself

Was now responsible for the lives

Of two that I loved above all others

Responsible for my wife

Responsible for you

My son

Yes

On this day

On the day of your birth

I felt boundless love

On this day

On the day of your birth

I felt boundless bewilderment  

Bewilderment that I

That I was truly a father

On this day

On the day of your birth

Barely out of boyhood

Barely a man myself

Fear

I felt boundless fear

Fear of what had become my responsibility

Above all

Though

Above fear of responsibility

Above bewilderment

On this day

My son

On this day

For you my son

For you

I felt overwhelming love.

©July 29, 2013  / Mark M. Lichterman