Mark, so wonderful to see you posting again, and even more wonderful for you to touch on this subject with such honesty and sensibility. Although I have noticed that it was written in 2012.
Probably the biggest hurt that I suffered upon becoming paralyzed at 20 was the perception by many women in passing that I was sexually incompetent and certainly, if I could, some probably thought that our children would inherit paralysis genetically.
So, I suffered many years of loneliness from these perceptions and found that only married women seemed to be normal and loving when there were so many, "crazy," spinster's out there who offered good reason why they still weren't married in their twenties… They were unacceptable as life partners behaviorally and sexually.
Fortunately, like K2 mentioned below, there came my first wife and a dancer, both previously married with children, among others to brighten my sexual prospects later in life when the fear of pregnancy was gone or nearly gone. I have mixed feelings for not having fathered wonderful children like my brothers have. But I'm reconciled to that. You are so right about the gradual change in sexual capability that I have noticed in my 70s gradually creeping in but not altogether gone, thank goodness!
Well, it's Sunday AM and I'm caught up in the usual small domestic hurricane, with wifie giving the pup a quick 'sniff & squirt' around the block (after admonishing me that a more adequate doggie reconnoitering WILL still be required by our Husky girl) before dashing off to praise the Heavenly hosts (as is her weekly wont). I don't usually take a look at Author's Den posts at such frenetic moments, however, who could resist a poem with 'sex' in its title, so I quickly took a fast peek at this one.
I must say it was sensitively executed, wonderfully expressed and absolutely suited to that altered physiological status we humans reluctantly submit to as the decades continue to pile up on our doorsteps. Intimacy undergoes an ineluctable change as the end of life looms larger in our perceptions than the beginning, attended as it always is by a proportionate change in our bio-mechanical capabilities. Believe me when I say that in my innermost reflections, I wish I could still intimately enjoy 'Danielle's' (a ballet dancer I once fell in lust with, while a happy wanderer in Munich, years ago) incredible physical range of motion capabilities, but that was then and this is now...and 'advanced maturity' imposes (happily) a whole new set of appreciations and insights into 'intimacy' (as you superbly set forth in this paean to the subject). Although I don't personally believe in any 'God's great plan' nonsense, it certainly seems a natural dynamic to fall into, by any regard. Thanks so much for a wonderfully refreshing start to this crisp November morning!
Dozens of Frequently Asked Questions regarding Pathological Narcissism, relationships with abusive narcissists, and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
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Probably the biggest hurt that I suffered upon becoming paralyzed at 20 was the perception by many women in passing that I was sexually incompetent and certainly, if I could, some probably thought that our children would inherit paralysis genetically.
So, I suffered many years of loneliness from these perceptions and found that only married women seemed to be normal and loving when there were so many, "crazy," spinster's out there who offered good reason why they still weren't married in their twenties… They were unacceptable as life partners behaviorally and sexually.
Fortunately, like K2 mentioned below, there came my first wife and a dancer, both previously married with children, among others to brighten my sexual prospects later in life when the fear of pregnancy was gone or nearly gone. I have mixed feelings for not having fathered wonderful children like my brothers have. But I'm reconciled to that. You are so right about the gradual change in sexual capability that I have noticed in my 70s gradually creeping in but not altogether gone, thank goodness!
Ron
I must say it was sensitively executed, wonderfully expressed and absolutely suited to that altered physiological status we humans reluctantly submit to as the decades continue to pile up on our doorsteps. Intimacy undergoes an ineluctable change as the end of life looms larger in our perceptions than the beginning, attended as it always is by a proportionate change in our bio-mechanical capabilities. Believe me when I say that in my innermost reflections, I wish I could still intimately enjoy 'Danielle's' (a ballet dancer I once fell in lust with, while a happy wanderer in Munich, years ago) incredible physical range of motion capabilities, but that was then and this is now...and 'advanced maturity' imposes (happily) a whole new set of appreciations and insights into 'intimacy' (as you superbly set forth in this paean to the subject). Although I don't personally believe in any 'God's great plan' nonsense, it certainly seems a natural dynamic to fall into, by any regard. Thanks so much for a wonderfully refreshing start to this crisp November morning!