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Julianza (Julie) Kim Shavin

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Member Since: Sep, 2008

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Third Party
by Julianza (Julie) Kim Shavin → (All Poetry by Julianza (Julie) Kim Shavin)
   Rated "PG" by the Author.
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This and the Wave on Wave are what I call "sudden" poems. I was using "flash" poem incorrectly. What I mean to convey is that they are rough; just tumbled out; might call them rough & tumble, even. Basically, I'm avoiding editing my manuscript again, having been there and done that for 4 straight days and still not "there." Once again, the double-space dilemma here. I will learn to use notepad if it kills me and my world. All right, no melodrama. I retract.

                 Third Party

The man looks at the woman seated in the sun,

on the sun seated on the steps.

She doubles over, and the wet tresses

fall like snakes onto her knees.

She starts combing, slowly.

The comb cannot handle the larger masses

so she splays the fingers of her right hand

while the left palm is open.

When fingers reach palm,

she gently separates wads of hair,

like opening a hundred tiny curtains.


He sits and smokes and watches.

She tosses back her mane, looks up.

He smiles as if the sun has just

appeared, when in reality it has vanished.

A cloudiness shrouds them both,

eating their shadows, still hungry.

But her hair is dry, and his cigarette dead.


They go inside where the glow

of electric lights evens everything,

except for the odds.

What is left is waiting.

Waiting is always left,

like someone standing impatiently

in line to purchase lung cancer

or drink in which to drown.


There is nothing to do about the third party.

There is only going about the day

with dry hair and dry thoughts,

adopted from the sun's early arc,

from the shadows,

the absence of shadow

from the light on the ground

to the smooth knot of dark.

Copyright Julianza K. Shavin 2009



 

 

 

 


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 Reviews of "Third Party"
Reviewed by Jon Willey
Reviewed on May 8, 2009
the wrap of emotion is forceful and interesting Julianza -- peace and love -- Jon Michael (YRH)

Reviewed by Dawn Anderson
Reviewed on May 7, 2009
Julie, this is so powerful, and your third stanza...perfection!

Reviewed by Edwin Hurdle
Reviewed on May 7, 2009
A well written poem,I enjoy reading it,take care

Edwin

Reviewed by Karen Palumbo
Reviewed on May 6, 2009
Marvelous and moving, leaving one to ponder many thoughts....

Be always safe,
Karen

Reviewed by Gene Williamson
Reviewed on May 6, 2009
As always, a powerful piece of writing, Julie. So many great
lines, incljuding of course:

she gently separates wads of hair,
like opening a hundred tiny curtains.

And that marvelous third stanza is pure Shavin.

-gene.




Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on May 6, 2009
Another one of your poems that is worthy of much more than a single reading and leaves me at a loss for words. As for your "formatting" problems, save your file as "plain text" then copy and paste it into the AD editor. Then make the desired changes. Love and peace,

Regis


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