Pelican Dreams



He whispers;
"Come",
but I will not,
hands firmly planted behind my back,
I try to hide from it,
this feeling of soft regret,
choices made too late to take back,
roads that cannot be walked upon again,
the gate is closed-
the lock rusted shut,
with memories I can't forget.

He said;
"I love you!"
but I knew he lied,
he loves being loved,
cherished and held in memories,
but my heart is overflowing already,
and there is no room left to add one more...

He smiles at the pain,
his game causes to me,
but I am stronger than this,
I have learned to forget,
else my heart would have burned long ago,
raging flames of passion I cooled with the ashes,
and dumped them in those bins marked;
"place hot coals here"

I walk along the beach,
while the pelicans swoop low,
skimming the water with their wings,
and think;
I shall be like them,
riding thermals the storm brings,
and when lightning flashes and touches the earth,
I too shall find shelter from this storm,
and wait with folded wings protecting my heart...

It's not what I wanted to say,
but I have forgotten his name again,
when the storm ends,
I will walk along the beach,
perhaps I have written it in the sand,
if the tide has not washed it away,
I will see it and remember-

Maybe my mouth will form the sound,
and I will taste the sylables on my tongue,
I remember black hair and eyes that shine,
perhaps not.

He says;
"I am crying..."
and I ask;
"Why?"
You have to go,
and I can't stay,
It will never work anyway-

"I loved you!" he insists,
"Ah,
But that was yesterday-
And the pelican's wing touched down,
breaking the surface of the water,
I watched her go down for the sweet morsel,
swimming just below the waves,

She did not come up.