I was talking to a friend about,
a rifle I had bought,
it was a 44/40,
you know the underlever sort.

When the conversation turned towards,
the women in our lives,
and things we tell each other
but could never tell our wives.

And he said his wife would kill him
if she knew he was playing cards,
though sometimes we say some things
and little know how right we are.

because I said my wife would kill me
if she knew about Betty Sue,
then arrived back home this evening
to discover that she knew.

And she has my 44/40
and she's looking down the sight,
her finger's on the trigger
and I know she has the right,

So I'm trying to think of something
that is like to save my life,
'Cause there's a 44/40
in the hands of my wife.

Well I told her I was sorry
and I kissed my wedding ring,
swore that I was drunk
and Betty Sue don't mean a thing.

But I could see her knuckle whittening
on the trigger as I spoke,
and how the hell she missed me
from that range, I'll never know.

But I felt the bullet pass me
as I dived out of the door,
another hit the framework
and another hit the floor,

So close the splinters hit me
and I feared so for my life,
'Cause there's a 44/40
in the hands of my wife.

Well I called out,"Don't be stupid,
you could hurt someone wih that",
but she pumped that lever down
and put a bullet through my hat.

As my hat came off I staggered back,
tripping in my haste,
lying helpless in the dirt
with terror on my face.

And the last thing I remember
is looking down the bore
of that 44/40
as I lay there on the floor.

My life flashed by before me eyes
as that lever worked again,
and hate and rage shone in her eyes
as she cursed my very name.

and that trigger snaping backwards
as her finger pressed it quick.
then I passed out with relief
as all that rifle did was click.

and I'm gratefull those four bullets
were all that she possesed,
or I know I would have felt the fith one
rip into my chest.

As it was I had a close escape
that could never happen twice.
when that 44/40
was in the hands of my wife.


By S.E.Ralph

25/4/15