Mother thought I worked somewhere in Europe,
In some high paying, high-fallutting role,
How could I ever tell her I was lying,
In every single letter I sent home.

When I left I said I was going to make my fortune,
And I tried, I swear to God, I really tried,
But in the end I found I didn't have the talent,
And instead of owning up to that, I lied.

I said I was a financial consultant,
Working at the London Stock Exchange,
When in fact, I was serving drinks and waiting tables,
In a beach bar, on the southern coast of Spain.

But I'd hate for her to think her son's a failure,
After all the hope and faith she had in me,
Putting me through college on the wages,
She earned working at a nylon factory.

She used to brag about me, to her friends and neighbours,
And say how rich and famous I'd become,
I tried to write and tell the truth so often,
But all I ever got to write, was Mom.

Then I could see the disappointment change her features,
And imagine the teardrops in her eyes,
It made me feel so bad, I couldn't do it,
So once again I'd force my pen to lie.

I'd say I was in Paris at the Sorbonne,
Doing some research for a new play,
Or tell her I was on my to Belgium,
And hope to be home for the holidays.

It tore me up inside to have to do it,
But I'd done it for so long I had no choice,
I'd try, but when I'd start, I knew that it would break her heart,
And when I'd phone, I'd hear the pride there in her voice.

Once I took a loan out with a lender,
Bought a suit and hired a fancy car,
Then went to visit Mother for her birthday,
And turned up looking like a movie star.

Oh you should have seen her neighbours curtains twitching,
As that Cadillac pulled up to Mothers drive,
I swear to God, you could have heard a pin drop,
As Mother walked up to that car and got inside.

Well I took her to a show and bought her presents,
Champagne and a beautiful bouquet,
I stayed a day or so, and then said I had to go,
She kissed me, then she watched me drive away.

That was the last time I would ever see my Mother,
Because she died the following year, quite suddenly,
I know that I'm a fake, a fraud, a liar.
But Mother never saw that side of me.

To her I was the son she always wanted,
A great success, the apple of her eye,
I had to make her proud of me, I had to,
Even though it meant I had to lie.

She'd given me so much while I was growing,
Everything she had, for half her life,
I'm glad my Mother died still never knowing,
I had wasted all those years she'd sacrificed.


By S.E.Ralph.

17th-9th-2016